


Hit the Ground Running

by freckled_krista



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gang Violence, M/M, Minor Marco Bott/Jean Kirstein, Past Rape/Non-con, Social Anxiety
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-22
Updated: 2016-08-08
Packaged: 2018-03-25 06:37:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 28,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3800551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freckled_krista/pseuds/freckled_krista
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ymir is struggling. With Eren as a younger brother, two jobs, and a massive debt to Annie Leonhart, leader of the imfamous Titans, Ymir is finding it hard to keep on top of it all.<br/>Krista is struggling. She hasn't left her apartment for two months, and can't tell a soul why.<br/>When Krista is offered a job at The Green, the vegan tea shop in town, she can't tell whether it will be her saving grace, or the final straw.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my first fic and my writing skills are definitley rusty so sorry if some of this doesn't sound right! I've recently fallen into yumikuri hell and was desperate for fics but there aren't that many out there so... I thought I should give it a go. If anyone knows any good fics out there for this pairing, please let me know!  
> Yes, Eren and Bertolt are Ymir's younger brothers, I know this doesn't make any sense when looking at canon but... go with it, please. Also, I have no experience with ADHD so if it seems wrong to anyone please don't hesitate to tell me!  
> Thanks, I hope you enjoy! :)

The tea tray fell with an almighty crash, sending tiny fragments of china and pools of scalding liquid across the varnished floorboards of the tea room.

_Shit, any chance Levi hadn't heard that?_

"Ymir, that better be cleaned up by the time I get back there." her boss' faint voice lazily drawled from the tiny office behind her.

Guess not... The tea had begun to sink into Ymir's converse, seeping through the thin canvas and into her socks. It was gross...and hot. Very hot. She groaned and stepped away from the rapidly spreading puddle, her feet squelching as she moved. The copious holes in her shoes probably hadn't helped the situation and it wasn't like she had any spares lying around to change into. At least it was after the lunch-time rush, with Levi hiding in his office and only the odd customer passing through to grab a cup of tea or one of Hange's strangely- and possibly dangerously- strong coffees. She could clean this mess up without being disturbed by idiot customers asking whether the tea was gluten-free or asking for bacon despite the repeated reminder that this was a vegan tea room.

Damn customers trying to be served tea in a tea room? _Assholes_.

As she grabbed a mop and bent to pick up the pieces of the smashed tea set, Ymir let out a sigh which quickly turned into a jaw-cracking yawn. Jesus, she could use a sit down. But she was pretty certain that if she sat down now, she would feel even worse trying to get back into work mode and settled for lightly resting on her heels as she cleaned up.

Thank God it wasn't an expensive tea set. Levi had a bizarre affection for his china collection, so much so that Ymir often marvelled that he let customers use them at all. Then again, he did tend to rank customers by the tea sets they were allowed, with only the most trusted and regular ones being given his preferred china. Hange and Ymir certainly weren't allowed to use his favourites, not after the Wedgewood incident of last year.

"Ymir, get your ass in here." Levi's voice floated through the office door again, still sounding distinctly disinterested.

"I'm still cleaning up your baby over here." Ymir shouted back, finally mopping up the spilt tea. Tea leaves, unfortunately, seemed to stick to everything like glue.

"I'll do it, get in here." Shit, it must be serious if Levi was relieving her of cleaning duty.

Ymir set the mop down and padded across the room to the office, glad there wasn't anyone around besides Levi to hear the wet squelch of her footsteps. She flung the door open to find Levi sat behind the wide, antique beast that was his desk, nursing a cup of steaming black tea.

"Keep your hair on, what is it?" She asked as he stared at the ground.

"You're leaking." he mused, nodding towards the slight puddle accumulating around her feet.

She shrugged. "Occupational hazard. What's up?"

Levi looked almost- almost- sympathetic for a second as he lifted his cup to his mouth, savouring a sip before he spoke.

"The school just called... again."

Ymir groaned. Loudly. The school might as well have the tea shop on speed dial for the amount of times that they rang. Hell, maybe they did.

"What is it this time? Do they need me to go down?"

Levi nodded, leaving his seat to perch on the table in front of Ymir.

"You should go, that guy made it sound serious. It shouldn't be too busy here anyway."

"Mr Smith always sounds serious... I should go though. Sure you can hold down the fort?" Ymir winced internally at the thought of the hours she was losing and the pay that disappeared with them. This better be good. And by good she meant the school better be on fire or something.

"I think I can manage without breaking anything. Unlike someone..."

"Yeah, yeah... I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Bright and early." Levi reminded her as he returned to his chair, dismissing her with a curt wave.

"Wouldn't miss it, you're such wonderful company on a morning." Ymir snorted- Levi was not at his best without caffeine and even then the mornings were never fantastic. Then again, neither were the afternoons...

"You're one to talk. Now go beat up your brother or something. Sibling stuff." He waved her off again and she complied, quickly grabbing her coat before heading out into the cold.

It was only at this point that it occurred to her that maybe she should have thanked Levi for letting her go at such short notice. Nah, that wasn't his style, or hers for that matter. He would let her know if she was out of order, she was sure of that. He wasn't exactly one to sugar-coat anything and Ymir preferred it that way. She sent off a quick text to Armin, letting him know that he wouldn’t have to pick up Eren from school.

As she walked to her car, worry began to settle in about the call, like a lead weight in her stomach. What if it really was something serious and not just the usual bad behaviour and inattention bullshit? What if Eren was hurt, or sick, or...? Ymir pushed the thought away, reminding herself that these worries came to her every time she was called to the school and it was always the same crap over and over again.

"Eren isn't paying attention in class... Eren's fought with whatshisface... Eren's an aggressive, hyperactive little shit"... Ymir grumbled, mentally preparing herself for another lengthy speech from Mr Smith, the headmaster of Trost Primary. The man certainly seemed to like the sound of his own voice. Ymir wouldn't mind the lectures so much if they weren't usually sly digs about her control, or lack of, over Eren's behaviour. Ymir rubbed her hands together as she approached her car, trying to gather some warmth in her fingers before she had to drive. It was only October so there were many months of cold weather left... She really needed to buy a pair of gloves. She’d have to add it to the list, underneath new shoes and a car that didn't look like it had just survived a nuclear attack. Speaking of the shitty car, Ymir fumbled for the keys in her pockets and tugged at the rusty door, ignoring the high pitched screech that it let out as it swung open. The inside was littered with empty take out wrappers and changes of clothes for the rush between her job at the tea shop and the bar.

_Shit... the bar._

Ymir groaned again, hoping that Mr Smith didn't ramble on long enough to make her late for work at the bar. Annie wasn't someone that you wanted to be late for and Ymir didn't fancy facing her tonight. The car spluttered as she jammed the key into the ignition and Ymir cursed enough to make a sailor blush. Levi's dirty mouth seemed to be rubbing off on her... After another few tries, the car roared into life and Ymir revelled in the small puffs of warm air that came from the vents. The car was a pile of junk but it always seemed to pull through in the end. Ymir drove on autopilot, contemplating the multiple ways that Annie would punish her if she was late for work again. There was no way that she was taking toilet duty again, she had far too much intimate knowledge of the bar's toilet bowls for her liking from last time.

 _Oh well_... Ymir sighed deeply. There was nothing that she could do now. She just hoped that Eren hadn't managed to get himself into too much trouble. If he was suspended, Ymir was totally screwed. Her mum would be home but too tired to look after him, having worked the night shift at the hospital, and Armin... Armin had his own life to think about. Ymir already felt sort of bad about the amount that they relied on him. Not enough to reject his help though. Hell, if the boy was enough of an angel to help them out, she was going to take advantage of that and it was always reassuring to know that he was there as a back-up option.

Ymir drove through the familiar streets, perhaps a few miles over the speed limit, and approached the school with dread in her heart. She could have driven to the school with her eyes closed by now, and every inch of the gloomy Victorian building seemed to be imprinted in her mind. The car screeched to a halt into a space right outside of the main gates, thankfully free after the madness of the end-of-school rush. Ymir slammed the car door behind her and trudged through the gates, wanting nothing more than to turn around and drive home.

_Goddamn it, Eren._

Ymir swiftly checked the time on her phone as she made her way to the headmaster's office. It was the same phone that she'd had since she was 15 so it was temperamental and the screen was so smashed up that she had to spend ages deciphering a single text, but she had a motto: If it's not completely and utterly broken beyond redemption then why fix it? It still called people, sort of. Not always the right person but still...

3.30... Ok, if this meeting went quickly enough then she should have plenty of time to take Eren home, get changed, and head to the bar for six 'o clock. Fingers crossed.

The receptionist's desk was right in front of Mr Smith's office, manned by a large young man with dubious facial hair. Ymir had visited Mr Smith enough times to recognise him and to know that he had three dogs (all retrievers with an uncanny sense of smell), had a strange rash on his left ankle, and had known Mr Smith since University. She had heard all of the anecdotes of their Uni years yet still had a hard time believing Mr Smith had _ever_ been young.

"Yo, Mike. How's the rash?" Ymir leant over the waist high desk, resting her head in her hands as she greeted the receptionist.

“Ergh, awful. Thanks for the concern, though.” he smirked up at her, as though calling into question her dedication to his rash recovery.

Ymir pulled a mock expression of hurt, clutching at her chest. “How dare you? That rash of yours keeps me up at night.”

Mike merely snorted, waving his hand at her dismissively. “Erwin’s waiting for you. Don’t worry. It’s not so bad; I think Eren’s new teacher’s just getting used to him.”

Ymir hummed in agreement, hoping that the new teacher wouldn’t end up blaming her for Eren’s bad behaviour like the last one. She knew that she wasn’t exactly Supernanny or anything, but she did her best and, with Eren, that could be challenging for even the most patient of people.

Mike shimmied round his desk and shoved Ymir in the direction of Mr Smith’s office (Ymir refused to even _think_ of him as Erwin) and she begrudgingly complied. Better to get this over with quickly. Mike opened the door and announced Ymir’s arrival before scurrying off with a wave and an apologetic smile. Mr Smith was sat behind his massive desk, which was completely covered in towering files and papers.

_God, Levi would have a field day with this office._

“Ms Jaeger. Please, have a seat.” Mr Smith motioned towards one of the leather chairs in front of his desk, his face as placid and unreadable as ever. There was something about him that always creeped Ymir out, yet she could never quite put her finger on it. Maybe it was the eyebrows…

Ymir collapsed into one of the chairs, finally noticing the other visitor, sitting in the other leather seat and smiling welcomingly at her. She had bouncy strawberry blonde hair, glowing amber eyes and that smile... Cute. Very cute _._

“Ms. Jaeger, this is Ms. Ral, Eren’s new teacher.”

Nope. Not happening. That was _the_ shortest romance ever. Ymir nodded politely in Ms. Ral’s direction, slightly disgruntled at how attractive she was. She had decided to never date one of her siblings’ teachers, it would only cause trouble.

“Ms. Ral asked to meet you today, to talk about Eren’s progress and any... concerns she may have.” Mr. Smith continued, dragging Ymir’s mood deep, deep down. It was only a few weeks into the term and she was already having trouble with him?

“Look, Ms. Ral… I know that Eren can be a handful but… I don’t know what you expect me to do about it. I’ve had this talk a hundred times and I really need to get going for work.”

Ymir watched the other ladies smile falter for a moment before returning in full force.

“That’s not what I wanted to talk about, Ms. Jaeger” Ms. Ral began, her voice gentle yet forceful.

“Please, just call me Ymir. The whole ‘Ms. Jaeger’ thing creeps me out to be honest.” Ymir resisted peeking at Mr. Smith’s face as she spoke, instead keeping her gaze on Ms. Ral as she let out a quiet laugh.

“Of course, Ymir. Well... I’ve been watching Eren over the last few weeks and believe he may be exhibiting signs of ADHD. I’m no expert but I can recommend a brilliant paediatrician over at Sina Medical Centre who would be able to help after a diagnosis and--”

“Wait a minute.” Ymir interrupted the teacher, “What?”

Ms Ral recovered well, still keeping up the gentle smile. “It’s Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. I think it could explain Eren’s difficulty concentrating and restlessness.”

Ymir nodded, then turned to face Mr Smith, her teeth suddenly gritting together, “Are you telling me that I’ve spent the last three years of my life being told what a shitty caregiver I am and that Eren can’t control himself and now you’re noticing this?”

Mr Smith, somehow, appeared even more severe than before, meeting Ymir’s furious glare with his own cool, steady gaze. Ymir gripped the edges of the leather chair tightly, resisting the urge to lean across the desk and hit him. Or at least mess up that stupidly neat blonde undercut.

“I am terribly sorry, Ms. Jaeger for any…”

“You’re sorry?!” Ymir was definitely shouting now “Have you any idea how much easier everything would have been for me, for Eren, if you had got your arse out of your chair for once and actually done your job? I mean--”

A firm grip on Ymir’s forearm silenced her, dragging her attention to Ms Ral beside her. “Ymir, please calm down. I have already talked this over with Mr Smith and we have come to a decision that I think you will find agreeable.”

Ymir let the teachers chatter wash over her as she thought over the news. It made a lot of sense. Eren could hardly sit still most of the time and following out a simple instruction had been like finding the bloody Holy Grail. His anger issues, which could no longer be explained away as simple ‘temper tantrums’, had become worse recently as well, yet Ymir had never had time to focus on it properly. However angry Ymir was at Mr Smith and the other staff members for not noticing earlier, she couldn’t absolve herself from the blame either. She should have noticed. She should have had more time; she should have given him more attention… Ymir sighed.

There never seemed to be enough _time._

Ms Ral had stopped talking. Ymir guessed that she was waiting for a response and blinked blankly. She had said something about a GP visit, about a specialist, about therapy. It was all too much.

“Thanks, I’ll... I’ll take Eren to the GP when I get a chance.” Ymir glanced up at Mr Smith again, surprised to see that his face had pulled into a tight grimace.

"I really am very sorry, Ms Jaeger, about this oversight. You see, the school is somewhat-" he paused, his eyebrows drawing together dramatically, "struggling with funding at the moment. We're understaffed, and-"

Ymir cut him off, standing up abruptly."It's fine." She let out a dry laugh, "I know the feeling. Now, I really do have to go."

Ms Ral gave Ymir another beaming smile, and let her know that Eren was with Mr Schultz, the unlucky soul who ran the ‘after-school-club’. Mr Smith nodded at Ymir, offering the slightest smile as she nodded back.

“If there’s anything that I can do to help, Ms Jaeger, please do let me know.”

Ymir thanked him, albeit rather grudgingly, and left the office, shutting the door behind her.

Mike looked up from his computer at the sound, giving her a questioning glance.

“Did I hear shouting?”

Ymir waved his question away, swiftly moving past his desk. “It’s fine. Gotta go get Eren. Good luck with the rash”

She was gone before he had a chance to respond, stalking down the corridors covered in drawings and brightly coloured displays. She used to scan them for Eren's work as she went, but had given up by this point. Getting Eren to sit down and concentrate long enough to paint a picture was not easy.

Ymir made it to the year 5 classroom, where the after-school-club usually gathered, and pushed the door open, prepared to grab Eren and run. She really, _really_ didn’t want to be late for work at the bar. The room was just as colourful as the corridors had been, the walls covered in the children’s posters and projects, and tubs overflowing with pens and pencils sitting on each table. Eren was sat next to another child on a rug in the ‘reading corner’, yet Eren was certainly not reading. The other child, a small girl with pigtails, was trying to read the book that was spread across her lap, whilst Eren chattered at her animatedly. Ymir could only hear the parts that he shouted, loud exclamations of “Bam!” and “Kapow!” filling the room and making the little girl jump.

Ymir gave a small smile of greeting to Mr Schultz, who was quietly marking work in the corner, looking as tired as Ymir felt, and made her way over to Eren.

“Eren, I think that this young lady is trying to read.” she greeted her brother, leaning down to ruffle his hair. Eren jumped up and hugged his sister tightly, then pulled back to glare at her.

“I thought that Armin was picking me up.” he grumbled.

“Nice to see you too.” Ymir snorted. “Now go and get your stuff, Armin will be at home waiting for us by now.”

Eren ran off to collect his bags, waving goodbye to Mr Schultz as he shrugged on his coat. He shouted a goodbye to the young girl that he had been talking at, but received no reply.

“How come you’re here ‘Miri?” Eren asked as they left school, half-skipping, half-jumping his way across the yard.

“I had to come speak to Mr Smith and Ms Ral.”

Eren stopped his jumping, turning to Ymir with a grumble. “But I haven’t done anything!” he protested.

Ymir shoved him, encouraging him to keep moving as they talked.

“Nah, you haven’t done anything wrong, I just wanted to meet your new teacher.”

“Oh, okay. She’s nice isn’t she? I like her. She lets me play the drums when we have music.”

Eren ran the last few meters towards the car, tugging on the door handle even though it was still locked.

“We are not getting drums, Eren.” Ymir could only imagine the hell that a set of drums would unleash in their tiny apartment. Eren could make enough noise by himself; he didn’t need any form of percussion instrument for that.

“But ‘Miri…” Eren grumbled as he clambered into his car seat, securing his seatbelt before rootling around in his school bag for god-knows-what. Ymir started the car- thankfully only needing one attempt this time- and began the drive to their apartment. It was depressing watching the neighbourhoods slowly deteriorate as they made their way home, winding through narrow streets packed with parked cars. Terraced homes disappeared, making way for rows of grey, concrete flats and bleak, crowded car parks. Ymir found a space and hopped out of the car, pulling a seat forward to allow Eren to get out. They hurried to the stairwell of their block of flats, Eren running up them two at a time, despite his legs not quite being long enough. He was nearly ten but he was definitely short for his age. The pair eventually reached their apartment door, Eren practically vibrating with excitement at the prospect of seeing Armin, even though he saw him practically every day. Ymir shoved the key in the lock, pushing the door open eagerly, hoping to have time for a quick shower before heading out to the bar. Her feet were still slightly damp and soggy from the tea spillage. Eren shoved past her into the apartment, flinging himself at Armin, who was sat on the sofa quietly reading a book. The boy gave Eren a hug, asking him how his day was and receiving a loud and very detailed account in return. Ymir gave Armin a quick wave and smile before heading swiftly towards the bathroom.

“Oh, Ymir. Could I have a quick chat?”

Ymir froze. Oh god. Was he going to quit? Had he had enough? God, Ymir wasn’t sure how they’d be able to cope without Armin looking after Eren after school. 

“Yeh sure, what is it Armin?” The blonde boy shuffled away from Eren, and pulled Ymir towards the kitchen, which was… a total mess again.

Ymir sighed. “Please don’t quit, Armin. I’ll give you a raise if you want?” Ymir blurted out, “I know it’s not easy but-”

“No, no! It’s not that!” Armin interrupted her, brushing his fringe out of his eyes as he always did when he was nervous. “I just wanted to ask you something.”

He was tugging at the hem of his pastel-pink cardigan, his staple garment.

“Oh, sure. Go ahead.” Ymir leaned against the kitchen counter, checking the time on her phone. 4.25, she still had plenty of time. She just needed a quick shower and change of clothes and she’d be good to go.

“Erm, I’m just wondering if there are any part-time jobs going at the tea shop?” Armin asked, finally looking Ymir in the eyes. “If not, that’s fine; I just thought I would ask- just in case…”

Ymir pondered the question for a moment. There was only Levi, Hange, and herself working there at the moment and the cafe could get pretty busy around lunch time and at weekends… But Levi hadn’t said anything about hiring anyone new…

“You know, I’m not sure Armin. I’ll ask Levi tomorrow though, if you want?”

Armin smiled, his whole face lighting up as he ran his hands through his hair.

“Thanks Ymir! That would be great!”

“But, do you really have the time for another job? I mean… you’re still in school and you’re already here most evenings.”

Armin shuffled, picking up the kettle and filling it with water as he talked.

“Oh, it’s not for me…” He set the kettle on to boil and reached for two mugs, knowing that Ymir would want a coffee as well. “You see… my sister’s having a bit of a rough time and… she could really do with a job, if you have one?”

Ymir tried to think back, to remember what Armin had said about his sister in the past. She was a few years older than him, she thought, and studying English at Sina University… She couldn’t remember her name, though.

“She’s at Sina, right?”

Armin still had his back to her, shuffling uncomfortably as he prepared the coffees.

“Yeh, yeh. Krista’s at Sina but she’s not in Uni much; English degree’s mostly done at home…” He let out a nervous laugh and Ymir gave up on wondering why he was so restless talking about his sister.

He handed her a coffee, liberally filled with sugar, and Ymir thanked him.

“I’ll talk to Levi tomorrow, okay?”

Armin nodded gratefully, holding on to his own coffee mug tightly.

“I’m gonna head to the shower, then. Mum should be back about 5, you alright staying ‘til then?”

Armin nodded again, smiling broadly.

“Sure thing. I’ll make sure Eren’s in bed by 9.”

Ymir smiled at him, still at a loss as to how she had managed to get such an angel, willing to look after the kids until 5 in the morning. He really did deserve a raise. Shame she didn’t have the money to spare. She considered telling Armin about her meeting with Mr Smith, but decided to save it for when she had a bit more time. Ymir shrugged off the thought, finally trudging towards the shower, taking a huge gulp of the sugary coffee.

It was going to be a _long_ evening.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's chapter two, finally! I'm sorry to have taken so long, but I'm definitley not giving up on this, so thank you if you stick with me! Also, I've made some slight changes to chapter one, if you don't fancy reading it again I've simply removed Bertholt but he will be back and I only changed it so I can add more of him and Reiner later on :) Thankyou so much to everyone who commented/ left kudos, it means a lot, and I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Krista heard the jingle of keys in the lock, the shuffle of bags and feet, and the muffled shout, but she didn't move. She was wrapped in a blanket on her sofa, the cosy knitted material covering her face so that her breaths had become warm and stagnant. The lights had been flicked on and she scrunched her eyes shut tighter in response. The shuffling had migrated to the kitchen, with the banging and clanging of cupboards and a soft humming sound accompanying it. Krista grasped folds of the blanket between her hands and squeezed them over her ears, blurring out the noises as best she could.

The hoover rattled past. The tumble-dryer hummed away. Krista still didn't move. The whole apartment came to life around her, soft music playing from the radio and the warm, comforting smell of baking wafting from the kitchen. Krista knew the scent well. It was the cranberry and almond muffins that she and Armin had made so many times before, in the huge, chrome kitchen at home. They had always finished, covered in flour and laughing, nibbling at warm muffins straight from the oven. Krista would take a cake-tin full to school and give them to everyone in her class. They would thank her, smile at her, call her an angel. Krista hated the smell. A sudden weight settled next to her feet, making the sofa dip slightly. She tensed, waiting for a touch on her shoulder. None came.

"Hey, Krista... wakey wakey." Armin let out a small forced laugh, always trying to lighten the mood. Krista shifted the blanket, uncovering her face after a moment of struggling with the cosy fabric. Her little brother was smiling down at her, as always, his smile somehow not reaching his wide blue eyes. Krista recalled the sound of bags, the banging of cupboards.

"You went food shopping?" she asked, hoping that he had remembered to pick up coffee. Sometimes it helped to clear the fogginess that she felt in her mind, to sharpen her senses.

"Yep! I got everything you asked for, and I made muffins, the cran-"

"Cranberry and almond. Yeh, I can smell them."

Armin beamed at her, standing up from the sofa and rolling up the sleeves of his cardigan. It was a hand-me-down from Krista, a pastel pink comfy piece that she had given him years ago. He certainly got more use out of it than she ever had. Her wardrobe was stuffed with clothes, designer and high-street brands, yet all she seemed to wear recently was the same pair of grey sweatpants. They may have been white once.

"Come on, I'll get us both coffee." Armin headed towards the kitchen, apparently expecting Krista to follow him. She considered curling back under the warmth of the blanket, going back to the restless half-sleep that she spent most days in, but the bubbling sound of the kettle urged her on. She could really do with that coffee. The smooth floorboards of her living room were cold against her naked feet, and she pulled the blanket around her like a cape as she crossed the room. Armin really had done a good job cleaning the apartment, even opening the curtains that usually covered the wide window that overlooked the city. Krista's apartment was near the top of a huge block of luxury flats, all boasting good views and sleek, modern, interior design. Early morning sunlight flooded the room through the window, settling on the soft leather sofa, the widescreen television and packed bookshelves.

The kitchen was just as clean, now, as the rest of the apartment, a tray of muffins cooling on the granite worktop and a cafetiere of coffee steaming next to it. Krista perched on one of the stools at the breakfast bar, not really paying attention as Armin chattered brightly about something-or-other. He poured her a cup of coffee from the cafetiere, adding the milk and sugar that he knew she liked. Krista accepted the coffee, cradling the mug between her hands and enjoying the warmth it gave. Armin had stopped talking, and seemed to be hesitating, staring into his coffee cup and biting his lip. Krista waited, knowing that he would eventually say what he wanted. The coffee smelt sweet as she lifted it to her lips, the steam ghosting over her face and beading on her skin. It reminded her of school mornings, the leisurely family breakfasts, and coffee in the car with Armin, chattering constantly about everything and anything as she drove.

“So, Krista...” Armin began brightly, though Krista could tell that he was unsure, his fingers fiddling with the mug as he spoke. “I was talking to Ymir and she said that there might be a job going at the tea shop in town, you know, the vegan one? I think that it would be really great, it’s a really nice place, and Ymir’s nice when you know her, and I don’t think it will be many hours, and I’m sure Levi, he’s the boss, will be nice and… what do you think?”

Krista could tell that Armin was nervous about this, he would never usually use ‘nice’ three times in the same sentence, but she couldn’t respond straight away. “I can’t do it.” She stated firmly, hoping to nip the idea in the bud.

“Of course you can Krista, remember you used to work at that café in school-”

“I’m not in school anymore. No” She interrupted him, her tone harsher this time. Armin hesitated, not accustomed to the tone from his usually soft-spoken sister. “Well, maybe if you gave it a chance, if you tried--” Armin was interrupted by a grunt of disbelief.

“I am trying, you have no idea--” Krista trailed off, placing her coffee cup on the counter and wrapping the blanket tighter around her.

“You’re right, I don’t.” Armin’s voice was gentle but firm, “It’s been two months, so maybe if you told me what’s going on, I could help. I only want to help you, Krista.”

"Stop." Krista commanded firmly, hiding her shaking hands the best she could under the blanket. Armin had begged her in the past to tell her why she had dropped out of university, why she hadn't left the house since, but she had remained silent. She shuffled, blanket and all, to the fridge, opening it up to examine the contents. It was newly full of fresh vegetables, milk, and cheeses, and she moved some items around, looking for the cheesecake that she'd asked Armin to pick up. He'd brought several slices of it last week, a creamy, rich vanilla cheesecake that she'd finished off in one day. Krista had been looking forward to it.

"Did you get the cheesecake?" Krista asked, her voice hoarse, as she turned round to face her brother. Armin's face fell instantly.

"Oh. I knew I'd forgotten something..." He shoved his coffee cup onto the table, pulling his cardigan tight around him as Krista slammed the fridge door shut.

She slunk past the kitchen counter, the blanket trailing behind her as she made her way back into the living room. Armin watched as she curled back up under the blanket on the sofa, pulling it over her head to block out the light. The coffee stood untouched on the counter, puffs of steam rising slowly from the pair of mugs, and muttering voices still emanated softly from the radio, breaking the sudden silence that had fallen in the flat. Armin strode across the room to switch it off. He wavered in the kitchen, putting the muffins neatly into tins and clearing away the last of the baking ingredients. The cupboards were now fully stocked with groceries, including fresh bread and pastries Armin had picked up from the bakery on his way over. He winced, mentally kicking himself for forgetting the cheesecake. Krista really had seemed to enjoy it the last time that he had brought it round. He didn’t think he’d seen her eat so much in months. When she’d first dropped out of university, almost two months ago, Armin nearly had to force her to eat something. He was always baking and cooking for her, even though he knew she wouldn’t touch it once he had gone.

Armin drank his coffee in several large gulps; tired from a long night babysitting and an early start, and refilled his mug from the cafetiere. Krista’s mug was still sat, untouched, on the counter. Armin retrieved one of the muffins from the tin, placing it on a spotted pastel plate, and picked up the coffee, stepping cautiously into the living room towards Krista. She was still curled up under the blanket, unmoving, and he stepped softly, unsure if she had fallen asleep or not. He had a sudden urge to drag her from under the blanket and make her come with him to the shop, to the library, anywhere. The last few times that he’d tried hadn’t done any good so he had taken a gentler approach recently. Armin approached the sofa, his hand shaking slightly as he lowered the mug onto the coffee table. He hesitated, setting the muffin down next to the coffee as he reached a hand towards his sister, gently nudging her shoulder. Krista jolted, slapping Armin’s hand away as she shrugged off her blanket.

“Don’t touch me.” she muttered, staring at the floor as Armin retracted his hand slowly. He cradled it to his chest, shocked by the sudden reaction, and perched on the edge of the coffee table.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

“Just go to school, Armin.” Krista mumbled, still refusing to look at him. “Honestly, I’m really sorry about the cheesecake. I was a bit rushed and I just forgot, and-”

“Armin, stop it. I was looking forward to it, you don’t usually ‘just forget’ things.”

A small part of Krista knew that she was being ridiculous, that she shouldn’t be so upset over a cheesecake, and it alarmed her that something so insignificant had been able to send her over the edge. Yet, somehow, the disappointment had sent her mood spiralling down, and she felt that she would either start crying or shouting if Armin didn’t get out.

_Pathetic._

“What? You think that I did this on purpose?” Armin was still perched on the coffee table, absentmindedly rubbing at his hand. He looked slightly annoyed, Krista thought, as well as upset. It was a rare expression for her brother. Somehow, this only fuelled her own anger.

“I don’t ask that much from you Armin, it’s just a cheesecake. Is it really that hard to remember?”

Armin looked as though she had slapped him across the face, shock painted on his features. She had snapped at him before, but never with such a harsh tone.

“I… I don’t understand why you’re being like this... You know that’s not true, I come visit you all the time; I just want to be useful. I get your shopping; I do your laundry, I…I…” Armin stuttered in disbelief. “I’m still in school, I have a job. I don’t mind helping you out but… I don’t get why you’re angry”

Krista ignored him, rolling herself back under the blanket and facing away from him. All she could do was hope that he would get the idea and leave her alone. She could hear his soft breathing, the slightest snuffle of tears, but she didn’t react. A soft hand fell upon her shoulder again, and Krista pushed it away, remaining still even when she heard the front door close and lock.

************

By the time Krista emerged from under the blanket, sunlight was no longer flooding the apartment, the long, bright days of summer having been slowly replaced by the shorter ones of the oncoming winter. She stretched, her limbs stiff from being curled up for so long. The coffee mug still sat on the table, the contents now stone-cold and Krista couldn’t ignore it. A deep sense of guilt welled up within her, making her cringe at her own behaviour. She couldn’t help it. She couldn’t believe that she’d been so upset over a cheesecake. Krista groaned loudly, the sound reverberating around the empty apartment. Armin hadn’t deserved that, she knew. All he had ever tried to do was help her, ever since he’d walked into her apartment two months ago and found her on the same sofa that she’d been on all day. He’d made her shower, made her eat and drink, made her feel slightly more alive. Krista felt sick at the thought that not much had changed. She couldn’t help the squirming guilt that she felt about her brother, but she also couldn’t help wishing that armin would leave her alone so that she could remain curled up under her blanket in peace. Every time he came, she knew that he hoped for something, for someone, else but she couldn't be that person anymore. How could she have laid there listening to him cry? How could she have made Armin cry?

_You're a good girl aren't you, Historia?_

The voice reverberated through her, causing her to shudder, and making her want to burrow back under the blanket once more. Yet, Armin's visit was fresh in her mind, and the guilt made her empty stomach roll. Was she trying hard enough? She couldn't leave the house, couldn't even talk to her younger brother without having to retreat to a pile on the sofa.

_Pathetic._

Krista leant forwards and grasped the cup from the coffee table, taking a huge gulp of the cold drink, not caring as it dripped down her chin and onto her t-shirt. Dark stains rapidly spread across the fabric, matching the myriad of stains on her sweatpants, and making the shirt stick to her skin uncomfortably. She considered curling under the blanket once more, waiting for the coffee to dry, but found herself lifting the sodden shirt over her head. Her mind felt less fuzzy suddenly because of the caffeine slowly making its way into her system. She moved onto the muffin, rolling it between her hands as she inspected it. It was light and fluffy, with the cranberries bursting throughout it giving it a gentle pink blush. Armin had always been a skilled baker, spending his weekends creating all sorts of delicious pastries and cakes for the family to enjoy. That boy was good at everything. Krista shoved a good deal of the muffin into her mouth, barely chewing so she nearly choked on the airy dough. Even so, she could tell that it was perfect. She finished it off, brushing crumbs from her bare chest, and storming into the kitchen. Even if she couldn't have shown her appreciation to Armin when he had visited, she somehow felt the guilt abate slightly after eating and drinking his offerings. Five minutes later she had devoured three more of the muffins, suddenly ravenous, and had filled the kettle, about to prepare a coffee for herself. As she listened to the kettle bubbling away, she contemplated the offer that Armin had made.

A job at the tea shop... She didn't know of the shop, and had barley listened to Armin when he had talked about the girl that he babysat for so could she really judge straight away? The thought of working had scared her enough, but she didnt even know the place. Could she handle it? Yes, she had worked at a cafe throughout school, but this wasnt the same. _She_ wasnt the same.

Krista sighed, filling the cafetiere and adding milk and sugar to her mug. This was easy. This was fine. Why couldn't she have done this when Armin had been here? He deserved better. Krista savoured this cup of coffee, hot and sweet, and felt her tiredness ebb away slightly. Sometimes it felt as though her very bones were tired. She drained the first cup, and poured herself another, taking it with her into her bedroom. The room was dark, the heavy curtains constantly drawn, so she flicked on the light. Compared to the living room, the bedroom was rarely used, although Armin had never allowed dust to gather. The bed was neatly made, and the cream carpet freshly hoovered. Krista threw her shirt into the empty wash-basket and rifled through her wardrobe to find another comfy, baggy top. She tugged a large, thick hoodie from a hanger, knocking over a box from the disorderly pile at the bottom of the wardrobe. Stacks of papers and photos spilled across the floor in a seemingly endless stream.

Krista bent to pick them up, planning to shove them back into the bottom of the wardrobe, and ignore them as usual. Yet one had fallen open; a scrap book, filled with neatly arranged photos interspersed with ticket stubs from the cinema and theatre, and long stretches of text in looped, cursive handwriting. Her own face stared up at her, smiling broadly in various locations; the beach, the water park, a small cafe in Paris, where she spent a long weekend with friends. That holiday had been a celebration of the end of school, a care-free and lazy trip away to their villa before they all began university. She had been so excited, then, to move on and start her degree. She was going to be great. She was going to graduate, to get a job, to carry on being perfect.

Krista sighed, picking the book up from the floor, and leafing through the pages slowly. She touched it gingerly, as though it was an old relic, occasionally ghosting her fingers over a photo that caught her attention. It was strange, seeing herself smiling back; she could remember the occasions, but it was as though an imposter had slipped into the photographs without her noticing. The Krista in the photos had perfect hair and make-up, perfect designer outfits, the perfect smile... She was perfect. Krista felt a deep twinge of loss at the thought. Krista placed the scrap book and hoodie carefully on her bed, a small sliver of determination awakening within her as she headed for the bathroom. She wasnt sure when she had last showered, and her reflection in the bathroom mirror made it clear that it had been quite a while ago. Krista cringed at the image in front of her. Her hair was matted and greasy, laying flat around her pale, drawn face, and her cheekbones jutted sharply, as though threatening to slice through her paper-thin skin. The gauntness of her face made her wide eyes appear even larger, nervously swivelling as she took in her appearance, tears gathering in the corners and spilling over. Krista rubbed them away, leaving harsh red marks against her white cheeks, and flicked the shower on to its highest setting.

The bathroom quickly filled up with steam, obscuring the mirror, and she pulled off her joggers, stepping into the scalding shower. The heat flushed her pale skin, and she stayed long enough after washing for her skin to turn a bright, angry crimson. She turned the shower off, wrapping herself in a large, fluffy towel, the honey-sweet scent of her shower gel strong in the steam-filled room. She opened the door, cooler air hitting her sharply after the heat of the shower. The warmth and comfort of the sofa beckoned her but she resisted; she had come this far, she may as well continue. Krista dried herself off, perched on the edge of her bed and marvelled at how much effort such a simple task seemed to require. The thought of drying her hair, getting dressed, applying make-up...

It all seemed pointless, and monumentally taxing. Yet somehow she felt that if she could manage to do it then she wasnt hopeless after all. She pulled on some fresh underwear and a bra, choosing a soft, matching pair from her meticulously organised drawer. When was the last time she had worn a bra? It must have been a while, she thought, as it felt uncomfortably restrictive and foreign. She lathered on a lightly scented moisturiser, trying to ignore the strange pale, flabbiness of her legs, no longer toned from hours in the gym. Krista's wardrobe was full of designer items from her parents, and neatly organised by colour, with the odd comfy sweater or hoodie. The brighter items stood out, a whole array of pastel skirts and dresses that she used to wear regularly catching her eye. She had always suited pastel colours, matching her clothes to her nails and accessories every morning. Krista picked out a simple, floaty pastel-blue dress that she only remembered wearing a few times, pairing it with white tights and a darker blue cardigan. The tights, like the bra, felt uncomfortably tight after so long wearing jogging bottoms, but Krista hoped that they would begin to feel natural again soon. She dug out her old make-up bag from the mound at the bottom of her wardrobe doing her best to ignore the other items that she waded through, shoving them further back and shutting the wardrobe door. The bag was jammed full of her favourite cosmetics, as well as the massive collection of limited edition sets she had recieved from her mother for her last birthday. She laid them out on her dressing table, sitting on a plush, cushioned stool, and stared at the framed family photographs that covered it. There was a picture taken at her fathers last birthday party, a large 'family' affair that happened to include most of her fathers co-workers at the Reiss law firm, and anyone else he had deemed acceptable. Acceptable, to her father, usually meant ridicuously affluent.

Krista set the photo gently on the floor, along with the few other family photos, and got to work drying her hair. It still seemed unusually lank and thin, but looked better for having been washed and she carefully added a few loose curls to create some volume. Her fringe had grown long and she kept having to sweep it from her eyes as she worked. Hopefully that won't become a habit like it has for Armin, Krista thought, allowing herself a small smile a the thought of her brothers little habits. She could imagine how excited he would be, coming to visit and seeing her looking like this. He would be relieved, she was sure, to see her looking like herself again. Krista rummaged through her make-up bag, picking out her favourite items and going through the usual motions, finding it strangley easy to get back into the routine, only having difficulty with the fiddly eyeliner that she always wore. A sweep of blusher highlighted her cheeks, taking away some of the gauntness, and giving her a healthy glow that she had been missing lately. She chose a bright, creamy pink lipstick to finish off, hoping that it would give her a small boost of confidence like it used to. Turning to the full-length mirror in the corner of her room, Krista checked every angle of her outfit, adding a warm camel-coloured coat when she was satisfied. She looked fine, she knew, but something seemed missing, something that she couldn't quite put her finger on. Krista pushed the thought to the back of her mind, pulling on a pair of soft leather boots, and filling a handbag with her purse and keys. She hesitated by the front door for a moment, then unlocked and swung open the door swiftly. The corridor was empty, and Krista swept down the hall, quickening her pace as she heard another door open behind her. She called the lift, stepping in and trying to ignore the way her palms became slick with sweat at the thought of being trapped in the enclosed space with another resident. Thankfully, she was left in peace, and checked her appearance in the mirrored interior of the lift as she made her way down to the lobby. The reflection smiled broadly back at her and she felt more confident by the second, already planning her route to the bakery to buy a cheesecake, and maybe something as an apology for Armin.

The lobby was deserted, making the grand white space seem almost cavernous, despite the plush sofas and armchairs that were spaced about, and Krista faltered for a moment before stepping onto the cool marble floor. It was strange how a place that she used to travel through every day could feel so alien, she thought, as she strode purposefully across the lobby, not allowing her slight falter to be apparent. A young man in smart uniform that she didnt recognise opened the door for her, beaming and wishing her a pleasant evening, and she returned the smile. That wasn't so hard.

She ducked out of the apartment block, the cold air hitting her, and she buttoned her coat up, ready for her errand. The bakery was only a five minute walk away, with many boutiques, bakeries and cafes having chosen to open near the more luxurious apartment blocks. Krista began walking, feeling almost bouyant as leaves crunched under her feet and a passer-by sent her a tentative smile. The street wasnt busy, the five o'clock rush being over, and Krista felt eerily calm. Why hadnt she done this before?

The streets were familiar and she made her way with ease, as though she still made the trip to the bakery every morning. She hurried slightly, knowing that the bakery would be closing soon, and kept running through all the possibilities that were now open to her. She could do the same thing tomorrow and get fresh pastries to share with Armin when he visited, or maybe they could even bake together like they used to. Krista felt a small smile creep onto her face as she approached the bakery, the warm scent surrounding her as she pushed open the door.

A young, heavily muscled man was slouched against the counter, dressed in the smart waistcoat and tie that the bakery staff wore, and he looked up as she approached. He beamed as he recognised her, a hint of suprise present behind the smile.

"Krista! Good to see you!" The man boomed. His voice, as always, was slightly too loud for indoor use. "Armin said you'd been keeping busy, how are you doing?" Krista faltered, unsure exactly what Armin had told him. Reiner had worked at the bakery for a long time, and Krista had always enjoyed his company, even if he was often too loud, or too nosy.

"I'm fine thanks, Reiner. Just been busy. How have you been?"

Krista's voice sounded stiff and forced to herself but if Reiner noticed, he didn't show it. He simply beamed even more brightly and started telling her about his latest boyfriend, a graphic designer he met at the gym . Reiner's boyfriends never lasted long and Krista zoned out after he started disclosing the finer points of his new conquests muscles. She hoped this one wouldn't end up like the last few of Reiner's romantic interests. Despite his intimidating appearance and boisterous presence, Reiner always took his break ups hard and Krista didn't wish to see him moping around the bakery again any time soon. A sharp laugh broke Krista from her thoughts, and she started, stuttering an apology for not listening. Reiner was still laughing, waving away her apology and leaning across the counter towards her.

"Sorry, Krista, I didn't mean to talk your ears off, I just really like this one, yeah?"

Krista smiled weakly, not forgetting that Reiner had said that about nearly every guy he had ever dated.

"Plus, I've missed you." Reiner spoke more softly now, running his hands through his short blond hair, spiking it up slightly in the process. "We need a catch up soon, if you have the time in your busy schedule?" Reiner winked, and Krista froze for a moment, unsure if he knew how she had spent the last few months and was mocking her. She dismissed the thought quickly, and nodded.

"Great. Anyway, what can I get you?" Reiner asked, waving a hand in the direction of the display counter.

There was still quite a bit left, even though it was nearly the end of the day, and Krista eyed up the pastries and breads before deciding that she would stick with her original plan. She asked for a vanilla cheesecake, watching as Reiner boxed one up and wrapped a delicate gold ribbon around the box. She still found it sweet how much pride Reiner showed in his work, always letting her know when his boss had entrusted with baking the pastries or trying out a new recipe. Krista paid and bid Reiner goodbye, promising to be back soon for a chat. The cheesecake felt heavy and important in her hands, and she couldnt help but feel a swell of pride within herself for completing her task. A small part of her felt ridiculous for feeling so proud of such a small task but she pushed it aside, trying to simply enjoy the moment. Perhaps the sense of elation that she suddenly felt made her careless, as on her next step she slipped off the edge of the kerb and lost her footing, propelling herself into the road. Fortunatley, there were no cars driving past but Krista still ended up sat on the side of the road amongst the fallen leaves, sticky cheesecake splattered across her shoes and coat. She sat silently for a moment before hot tears spilled down her face, obscuring her vision as she stumbled home, the comfort and warmth of the sofa beckoning her once more.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 3! Thanks to everyone who left kudos/ comments, it really motivates me to keep writing! I hope you enjoy the new chapter!  
> Warning for homophobia/ homophobic slurs and violence.

Ymir couldn't sit still.

It was a slow day in the tea shop, as most Sundays were, and Ymir watched Levi as he dusted the many teapots that he had collected over the years. The tea shop was only small, with a few comfy sofas and tables for customers, yet Levi had managed to utilise the space well. Shelves covered every wall, filled with teapots and books that customers were encouraged to borrow. It was a cosy space, Ymir thought, and suited Levi and Hange well. They both lived above the shop in a small apartment, an arrangement that Ymir could only imagine would end in disaster, with Levi's cleanliness and Hange's propensity for spilling or breaking everything that they came into contact with. Yet, somehow, it seemed to work. In the five years that she had worked at the teashop, she had never seen them seriously fight, even though their personalities seemed to clash so much. Ymir had given up trying to figure the pair out a long time ago.

She sighed, her leg jigging up and down and causing the stool that she was sat on to rock back and forth, banging against the floorboards. After a few minutes, Levi turned from his teapots to glare at her.

"If you've got nothing to do then clean down the kitchen instead of sitting on your ass." He grumbled, adjusting his green apron before pulling a fresh duster from one of the pockets.

"Yes Cap'n" Ymir sent a sloppy salute his way, glad to have something to do.

Levi didn't reply but Ymir thought she caught a slight smile on his face as he resumed his dusting. Sure, Ymir complained about work a hell of a lot but, really, she knew she was lucky to have such a comfortable and easy relationship with her colleagues. Hange wasn't in the kitchen- they must have sneaked upstairs whilst it was quiet- so Ymir fetched her Walkman from her bag to listen to while cleaning. She had found it in a charity shop, complete with a broken hinge so it had to be held shut with an elastic band, but it did the job so she didn't mind. She had borrowed an audio-book from the library- a cd of Crime and Punishment- and listened to it whenever she got a chance at work.Trost didn’t have a very well stocked library, never mind the audio-book section, so Ymir was mostly limited to the classics but they were better than nothing.

She plugged in her headphones and began spraying down the metal counters, only slightly messy from the vegan brownies and cupcakes Levi always made in the mornings. Ymir let her movements become mechanical and automatic as she became engrossed in the story, letting out the occasional gasp at the more surprising events as she cleaned. This was one of her favourite parts of the day-pretty much the only time she ever had to herself- and she was always grateful for the chance to immerse herself in the fantasy of whatever book she was reading.She was startled by a sudden pair of arms being flung around her shoulders, causing her to yelp and jerk her head back, colliding with a hard object in the process.

The arms disappeared and Ymir tugged out her headphones, turning to face her ambusher. The hard object, of course, happened to be Hange's face which they were now rubbing with an accusatory expression.Ymir sighed.

"Hange, don't sneak up on me like that, I had headphones on."

Hange grumbled in response, still touching their face gingerly and adjusting their glasses. Their hair was piled up in its usual mess, as though they had just woken up from a serious nap. In fact, chances were they had. Hange had an extraordinary talent for being able to sleep anywhere and at anytime, a gift that Ymir envied greatly.

"I was just going to ask if you wanted some coffee, I'm trying out some new beans I brought back from Columbia that are supposed to have a really great chocolatey flavour but I'm not convinced about the quality as-"

"Yes, Hange" Ymir interrupted, knowing that it was difficult to stop Hange once they started talking about coffee. "I would love a cup of coffee."

Hange nodded and rushed back upstairs to grab their newest experiment and Ymir inspected the kitchen, checking that her cleaning had been up to Levi's standards. Deciding that it was, she returned to the tea- shop floor to find Levi curled up on one of the sofas with a steaming cup of tea and a book.

"You finished in the kitchen?" He asked, closing his book gently.

"Yep, it's practically gleaming. Hange's bringing coffee down for us to try."

Ymir sunk onto one of the leather sofas, her legs sprawling in front of her. It was always strange when the tea shop was this quiet on a Sunday, as they were usually busy during the week, the three of them rushing around for customers early morning coffee fixes. The thought reminded her of Armin's request. Maybe they really could do with another pair of hands around here?

"Hey Levi, a friend of mine was asking about a job here, if you think we could use someone else?"

Ymir kept her tone casual, not wanting to put any pressure on Levi to say yes. It would be refreshing though, Ymir thought, for her to be doing Armin a favour instead of the other way round.

"You have a friend?" Levi asked, raising an eyebrow in mock disbelief.

Ymir snorted, sinking further into her chair as Levi thought it over.

"I suppose we could do with someone else for a few shifts a week. Give me their number, I can organise an interview."

Ymir grinned, glad to have helped Armin out. If his sister was anything like him, she couldn't see there being any problems.

"Thanks Levi, I'll give you it by the end of the day."

Levi hummed in reply, the pair sitting in silence for a moment until Hange burst into the room, carrying three very full mugs of coffee haphazardly in their hands. Levi eyed them with a pained expression, but Hange somehow managed to place the mugs on one of the tables without spilling, straightening up with a huff.

"Drink up kiddos." They encouraged, dropping next to Ymir on the sofa with their own mug. The three sat for a while, enjoying the exceedingly strong coffee in comfortable silence, until Ymir drained hers and slammed the mug back onto the table.

"Well, I won't be falling asleep any time soon." She exclaimed, sure that the caffeine she had just drank was enough to keep her going for a while. Hange beamed, their grin turning sly after a moment.

"Oh yeah..." Hange elbowed Ymir in the side "I forgot Sunday is date night." They gave her an exaggerated wink before letting out a giggle. Levi slumped further in the sofa, stretching across to kick Hange sharply on the shin.

"I told you, Hange, I'm not dating Hitch." Ymir mumbled, standing to take her mug through to the kitchen. She heard a yelp come from behind her, presumably Levi kicking Hange again, and a hushed conversation.

She checked the time before sending a quick text to Armin to get his sister's number for Levi. There was only half an hour before her shift ended, with the tea- shop closing early on a Sunday, then straight to the bar for a few hours. It was just as well Hange's coffees were ridiculously strong. By the time Armin replied, with an excessive amount of gratitude and exclamation points, Hange was occupied with a customer and she gave the number to Levi quietly. Levi thanked her, asking her to clean down the tables before she left. Ymir complied, disinfecting the tables carefully, her thoughts concentrated on Hange's comment. Yes, she was seeing Hitch tonight, but it wasn't a date. Hange knew that. They had seen Ymir moping about the tea-shop enough, bitter about the fact that her best friend didn't return her feelings, to understand that it definitely wasn't a date. It wasn't until Hitch came out as aromantic that Ymir came to terms with her unrequited crush. It just wasn't going to happen, and Ymir cringed now every time she thought of her petty anger towards Hitch.

By the time she had finished cleaning, Levi had disappeared into his office, presumably calling Armin's sister, and Ymir prepared to dash off to the bar. She tugged off her apron and shoved her Walkman into her backpack, and was rummaging for her car keys when a brownie careened into the side of her face. It was one of Levi's chocolate and cherry brownies, Ymir's favourites, that Hanji had thrown at her from across the kitchen.

"For the road." They explained, a gentle smile on their face as they returned to the shop floor. Ymir guessed that was their way of apologising and ate the brownie as she began the walk to her car. Hange could talk for hours, as long as it was about coffee or books, but when it came to expressing their emotions they were no better than Levi or Ymir. Not that Ymir minded, especially if she got a brownie out of it.

She tugged at her car door, flinging her backpack onto the passenger seat before jumping in herself. The engine started smoothly- for once- and Ymir started the drive to the bar, the shitty speakers spluttering out some crap rock music from a local station. While the tea-shop was in the centre of town, the bar was on the outskirts, near the more upscale establishments and apartments. Ymir always felt slightly out of place driving past all the boutiques and luxury apartments, barely allowing herself to think about the fact that she grew up near this area. She pulled into the bars car park at half four, early for her shift at five, and let out a sigh of relief. There was still plenty of time to change into her uniform and get behind the bar, avoiding the wrath of Annie.

She locked her car behind her- more out of habit than fear that someone would try and steal the pile of junk- and made her way through the back door of the bar and into the changing room. Her uniform was stuffed into the bottom of her backpack, and had somehow managed to not get crumpled. She quickly changed into the simple pair of black trousers- with a white shirt, waistcoat and tie- and adjusted her hair in its usual ponytail. The bar didn't open until six, giving Ymir an hour to clean up and stock the drinks before the customers began flooding in. Then she only had three hours of serving increasingly drunken idiots before Hitch would arrive and she could relax.

Ymir couldn't help the slight smile that tugged at her lips as she pushed open the door from the changing rooms. Sunday nights with Hitch were the highlight of her week, and she wouldn't let herself dwell on the reasons behind that any longer, content to simply enjoy the company. Her smile only increased as she recognised the tall man currently slipping across the newly mopped floor, long arms flailing as he tried to regain his balance.

"Hey, Bambi" Ymir called out, swiftly avoiding the wet patches of the floor, and taking refuge behind the bar.

Jean grimaced at her, taking ridiculously tentative steps as he made his way towards her.

"Fucking shoes have no grip, I told Hitch to get me nice shoes, not ice skates." Jean grumbled, running his hands through his hair, recently cut into a sharp undercut.

Ymir hummed, beginning to haul boxes full of bottles onto the counter to stock the shelves.

"Maybe buy your own shoes next time, instead of relying on your sister, eh Bambi?"

Jean groaned in response "I swear to god, that nickname better not stick."

Ymir merely snorted, concentrating on polishing the mirrored shelves, before filling them with bottles of ridiculously expensive alcohol. The bar was definitely upmarket, and it looked like it, with tasteful decor; the purple accents in furniture echoed in the staff's ties and the rim of glasses. It was all about the details with Annie. Ymir bet that even the dim light of the bar, that gave a pleasant, strangely intimate atmosphere to the large room, was calculated minutely. Time went fast as she worked, the comfortable silence between the colleagues only broken by Jean's occasional cursing as he inevitably dropped or knocked over items. Ymir swore that he was nearly as clumsy as Hange sometimes, especially when he was nervous about something.

By the time that Jean opened the bar's doors, letting in a swell of cold customers ready for a drink, he had broken two glasses already, something that would go straight out of his pay check. Oh well, Ymir thought, as long as it wasn't costing her money, he could be as clumsy as he wanted. The customers kept pouring in, giving Jean plenty of chances to show off his mixology skills -God help anyone who called him a mere bartender- and Ymir hardly noticed the time fly by, hands busy mixing drinks and taking extortionate amount of money for them. Annie certainly knew how to make money. Ymir cringed at the thought of some of Annie's less public methods of raising funds, but refused to think much on the subject, focusing on the job at hand.

Currently, the job at hand was convincing an aggravated young customer that a Mohican was not a cocktail, despite his conviction, and that maybe he wanted a mojito instead. Ymir sighed after dealing with the young man, idly watching him sip warily at the drink, until she noticed a familiar face in the crowd of customers. A grin spread on her face as Hitch winked at her, making her way towards the bar in an exaggerated strut. She was wearing tight black jeans and a silk emerald top held together with delicate gold chains, her hair set in its usual wavy bob, as though she had just rolled out of bed. Ymir leant over the counter, eager to see her friend, and Hitch followed suit, giving Ymir a swift peck on the lips as a greeting.Hitch smirked as she heard the resulting grumble from Jean, complaining as usual about his sister being so affectionate in public. Ymir loosened her tie, ready to join Hitch for a drink. It was slightly early for her to be finishing her shift, but Jean, suprisingly, didn't complain so she slinked off to get changed out of her uniform.

Back in her jeans and worn t-shirt, Ymir swiftly rejoined Hitch, slipping onto one of the plush bar stools beside her. They both ordered drinks- Jean rolling his eyes at Ymir's choice of beer- and Ymir settled in as Hitch began chatting about her day. Being an escort for Annie, Hitch always had a solid reserve of stories to tell, about interesting patrons or situations that she became entangled in. Every so often, the patrons would be less than charming, yet Hitch would always wave Ymir's concern away, delving into fun and drinking instead of dwelling on it. It was one of Hitch's best qualities, Ymir thought; the ability to brush off problems and let Ymir simply enjoy herself instead of worrying. And even now, as Hitch knocked back increasingly ridiculous cocktails- to Jean's glee- Ymir felt herself relax, laughing along with her jokes and relishing the way that Hitch leant against her, liberally playing with her hair or laying her arm around her waist. It wasn't hard to enjoy Hitch's company, the easy conversation and laughter, and Ymir didn't resist, letting herself order beer after beer, knowing that Hitch would insist on paying. It wasn't hard to forget about Eren, her mother, and the pile of unopened bills on her kitchen table, and it certainly wasn't hard to forget that Hitch was unavailable and uninterested as she tightened her grip around her waist. It was far too easy.

The pair's laughter only increased as the bars door swung open, letting in a gust of cold air, to reveal a tall, freckled man with a huge parcel. He struggled through the doorway, tramping past customers and towards the back room, where Annie would no doubt be lurking, a small smile ever-present on his face. Hitch turned slowly, a devilish grin spread across her face, and glared at her brother who was currently frozen, his face a delightful shade of crimson. He shook his head minutley in Hitch's direction, a silent plea, but her grin only widened. As far as Ymir knew, Marco delivered packages to Annie from Mikasa, a rival in the underground drug trade of Trost. Ymir didn't pry, and made it her business to know as little as possible. Usually this would include avoiding Marco but Hitch had taken a liking to him, presumably because of the effect he had on her brother. When Marco was around, Jean turned into a nervous, sullen mess- only marginally worse than his usual arrogance- but infintiley more amusing to Ymir and Hitch. The pair ordered another drink each, prepared to enjoy the show, as Marco weaved his way towards the bar, still carrying the parcel. He dropped it on the bar top, removing his gloves and sliding onto a chair next to Hitch.

"Hi guys, Is Jean working tonight?" He asked, his eyes scanning the surroundings.

Ymir merely smirked, whilst Hitch called over her brother, now obstinatley ignoring her and serving customers at the other end of the bar. Marco waited, until eventually Jean sauntered over, adjusting his tie carefully.

"Hi Jean!" Marco beamed, pushing the parcel further over the counter "Do you mind taking this? I think Annie's busy right now."

Jean hesitated, wiping down the counter absently with a cloth. "Erm... I'm not sure... If it's for Annie then I..."

"Don't be silly!" Hitch interrupted, leaning over to ruffle her brothers hair "Jean loves recieving packages! Especially ones as big as that!"

Ymir smothered her laughter in Hitch's shoulder, while Marco looked on in a bemused manner, the smile never leaving his face. Hitch's crude sense of humour seemed to get worse every day; she could always be counted on to take advantage of every dirty pun that crossed her mind.

"Give me the damn parcel." Jean muttered, placing it under the counter and shoving away Hitch's hand. Marco thanked him profusley, while Ymir and Hitch recovered from their muffled laughter. Jean scowled at them, turning to face Marco.

"Can I get you a drink?" he asked, continuing wiping the counter as he spoke.

"Oh, yeah a latte please, if that's ok?"

Jean's face brightened at this, and he began to dig around under the counter, pulling out little bottles.

"I just got syrups; we have vanilla, hazelnut, ginger, or caramel, which would you like?"

Marco faltered slightly, his smile dropping as he took in Jean's excited expression.

"Erm... Sorry Jean but I don't really like the syrups. I'll just take sugar, if that's alright?"

Jean scowled briefly, before turning around to the coffee machine, muttering quietly to himself. Ymir and Hitch quickly got bored of the interaction, devoid of innuendo or Jean making a fool of himself, and decided to call it a night. Ymir, as usual, would be staying at Hitch's apartment for the night. Her mother's day off always fell on a Monday, allowing Ymir to stay away for the evening without worrying about Eren in the morning.

The pair bid Jean goodbye, as he sullenly poured heaps of sugar from a shaker into the latte, mumbling about all the cavities Marco was sure to develop. Marco gave the ladies tight hugs, earning Hitch a grand scowl from her brother, only deepening as Hitch pecked Marco on the cheek in return. Ymir bristled slightly, berating herself for caring about a kiss on the cheek for gods sake. Hitch must have noticed, as she simply rolled her eyes and pulled Ymir down by the neck and into a deep kiss, her hands tugging Ymir's hair out of the ponytail. Ymir wound her arms around Hitch's waist, only letting go when she pulled away and ruffled her hair.

"Looks better down. I always-" Hitch was interrupted by a large scoff from behind her, a man nursing a beer slowly shaking his head and glaring at Ymir with a sour expression.

"What would your Dad say, if he were here to see you now?" He grumbled, rolling the beer between his hands and looking between the pair with disdain.

Hitch began to laugh, ready to ignore the comment, but Ymir reacted first. Her elbow smashed into the mans face, knocking him from the stool, and onto the floor with a loud thud. Silence fell in the bar, as Hitch pulled Ymir away from the man, now holding his bleeding nose in disbelief.

"You broke my fucking nose!" The man screeched, still sprawled on the floor. "Your Dad would be ashamed to..."

Ymir lunged again, breaking free of Hitch's hold, and grabbed the front of the man's shirt, her nose nearly touching his bleeding one as she leant in. The man recovered quickly, taking the chance to punch her squarely in the face, eliciting a growl of pain as she let go. Ymir's hands shook visibly, grasping again for his shirt, anger painted on her features as she spoke.

"Who the fuck do you think..."

"Fuckin' dyke, you make me si..." The man shouted over her, unable to complete his sentence as Ymir smashed her head into his face, letting him fall flat on the floor. Strong hands pulled her back, restraining her, and calling for someone to help the man up. She resisted, only giving up at the feel of Hitch's warm arms around her. She pushed her onto a stool, away from Marco's restraining hands, letting out a loud, fake laugh before turning to the man.

"Come on, now, we don't want to make too much of a scene do we?" She joked, as Marco pulled the man onto his feet. He started towards Ymir, only to be held back by Marco, who escorted him out of the bar, still clutching at his nose.

Ymir wiped the blood off her face, ignoring the pointed looks from many of the customers in the bar. Shit. That was stupid.

"Let's go, you idiot." Hitch murmured, accepting tissue from her brother to clean up Ymir's face.

Ymir glanced around the bar before being dragged off, wincing slightly as she saw a figure leant against the door to the back. Annie had her arms crossed, an eyebrow raised slightly as she surveyed the scene. She nodded slightly to Ymir before disappearing through the door. Shit. She was in so much shit. Ymir let Hitch usher her out of the door, the lure of the warm apartment and a shower enough for her to go quietly.

The bar was strangely hushed for a moment before the chatter resumed, several customers ordering more drinks now the excitement was over. Jean dealt with them swiftly, without his usual flair, his thoughts still with his sister and Ymir. They would be fine, he knew, but he couldn't forget the way that Annie had quietly watched the fight from the back. He could have sworn, although now he wasn't so sure, that he had seen Annie smile, her piercing eyes shining with amusement and... interest?

Jean shook off the thought, distracted by Marco's return, rainwater dripping from his hair. Jean threw him a towel, receiving a smile and a chipper "Thanks!" as he took a huge gulp of the rapidly cooling latte. Marco's face contorted into a grimace, his eyes scrunching shut as he swallowed the coffee.

"What's wrong?" Jean asked, as Marco pushed the half empty cup away on the counter, the grimace replaced by a bright smile.

"Nothing Jean! I think I will try a syrup next time though, seeing as you went to the trouble to get them."

Jean mumbled something about it being no trouble, whilst Marco pulled on his gloves and waved goodbye.

"See you next week!" Marco called back as he left and Jean began counting down the time before he could leave and return to the apartment he shared with Hitch. He couldn't help but hope that Ymir and Hitch were asleep by the time he arrived home. Maybe he should get revenge on them for embarrassing him in front of Marco somehow...

Jean mused on different methods of revenge as he cleared the counter, pausing with Marco's coffee cup in his hand. Was his coffee really bad enough to make Marco grimace? Jean had been practising making coffee, even dabbling in latte art, although he hadn't dared to put his skills to the test that evening. He sniffed at the coffee, taking a tiny sip before spitting the cold drink into the sink, away from the sight of customers. It tasted like... salt?

Jean groaned as he inspected the sugar shaker he had so liberally poured into Marco's latte. "Fucking salt..." He murmured to himself, head in his hands, not daring to hope for a day when he didn't look like an absolute tit in front of the perfect, freckled delivery man.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, sorry for the wait (again)!  
> I hope you enjoy the chapter! :)

Krista woke with a jolt at the sound of her alarm. After a few seconds of blissful confusion, she slumped back under the covers, enjoying the extra room that her bed provided compared to the sofa. She was sorely tempted to remain huddled underneath the duvet, to ignore the nagging voice in the back of her mind that reminded her that she had plans, that she couldn't hide away any longer. It had seemed like such a good idea yesterday...

Krista's mobile had rung the day before, while Armin had been visiting. He had been baking in the kitchen, humming along to some song on the radio, as Krista idly watched, still filled with gnawing guilt for the way that she had treated her brother. She had apologised several times, receiving flushed smiles and stammered responses from Armin, yet it hadn't felt like enough. If Armin hadn't been visiting, Krista doubted that she would have answered the phone. She hadn't even been sure where it was. It would only have been relatives or friends, and she had never felt up to speaking to them, always letting Armin make apologies for her. Yet another pang of guilt had coursed through her at the thought, as Armin located the phone and answered with a chipper greeting.

If it hadn't been for the lingering guilt, she probably would have rejected the pleading look her brother sent her way, holding his hand over the receiver so the caller couldn't hear their voices.

"It's the cafe." He had grimaced slightly as he spoke "I'm sorry, Ymir must have asked about the job! I can-"

Krista had grabbed the phone, ignoring Armin's stunned expression, and spoken to the soft-voiced man on the other end. She had prided herself on not stuttering, or faltering during the call, and arranged to visit the cafe the next day for a trial run. Armin had been overjoyed, herding Krista into the kitchen after she had ended the call and practising interview answers over cookies and hot chocolate, even though he was sure that Levi wouldn't ask half of the questions that he had thought up.

Krista had smiled tentatively as they ate, allowing herself to feel as though she had taken a huge step forwards, and had practically beamed as Armin began tugging outfit options from her wardrobe for her 'first day'. Krista had tried to stop Armin calling it that, not sure that she would even get the job, but he had simply rolled his eyes and told her that Levi would have to be mad not to offer her the position. They had both tried on countless outfits, giggling as they inspected each other in the multitude of pastels and floral prints that comprised Krista's wardrobe. Half of the outfits looked better on Armin anyway and Krista managed to convince him to take another cardigan, mint green this time, and a few cosy jumpers that she no longer wore.

After they had tired themselves out, they settled on a button-up shirt layered underneath a soft, cashmere sweater and a cream floaty skirt that ended just upon her knees. Armin assured her that it was neither too casual nor too dowdy, and they had hung it up neatly in preparation for the morning. She had gone to bed feeling strangely elated, a small smile still tugging at her lips as she set multiple alarms for the next day, and pulled the blankets tight around herself. She had hoped that the cafe would prove to be a safe haven where she could regain her confidence, where nobody knew her, nobody could hold expectations against her. The thought had comforted her as she had drifted to sleep, but did little to calm her nerves once the alarm had wrenched her from her dreams in the morning.

She showered, drank cup after cup of strong coffee, and attributed her shaking hands to the high caffeine intake. The outfit that she and Armin had spent so long picking out no longer seemed to sit right, the collar too tight and stiff, and the skirt too casual. Krista sighed, glad that she had given herself so much time to get ready, and decided to keep the outfit and to focus on her makeup instead. She kept it as simple as she could, sweeping on gold eyeshadow to bring out the blue in her eyes, and shimmering bronzer to lift her pale complexion. Powders and lipsticks ended up being carefully slotted into her handbag, in case she needed to fix her face during the day, and she examined herself carefully in the mirror, practising sweet smiles at her reflection.

It used to come so easy.

Now, she thought that her smiles looked forced, almost creepy in their falseness. It would have to do for today, she thought, hoping that the staff at the cafe wouldn't be able to notice. The thought of interacting with them, of being assessed and watched by them, set her heart racing, and the roll of sickness in her stomach couldn't be completely blamed on the excessive amounts of coffee that she had drunk. Even though Armin had assured her that Ymir was friendly enough, she couldn't help but anticipate that she would be secretly comparing her to her brother. It was alarming for Krista to find that she wasn't sure how flattering the comparison would be on her part.

Levi had also sounded pleasant, if a little blunt, over the phone and she suspected that he would be happy enough with her, as long as she proved willing to work hard. She could win them over she was sure, thinking back to the times at her parent's parties where her smiles had shone seamlessly and flattery had rolled of her tongue without effort. This was nothing compared to that. _Easy._

Krista cringed slightly at how manipulative her thoughts seemed, but brushed it away, knowing that it would be worth it in the long run. She examined herself in the mirror once again, before shrugging on a camel coat, and neat Chanel pumps. It was only eight, an hour before she needed to be at the cafe, but she was restless and drained her coffee mug before leaving the house.

Krista's car was in the apartment block's private car park, and hadn't been driven for at least three months. She slid onto the cool leather seat, placing her bag carefully on the passenger side. Her car, a Porsche 911, had been her eighteenth birthday present from her parents, and she ran her hands over the wheel gingerly, before starting the engine. She kept catching her reflection in the mirrors as she drove, trying her best not to get distracted by checking her hair or make-up. She couldn't bear it if she turned up on her 'first day' with her hair out of place or her blusher too bright. She had to look perfect for this; otherwise she wouldn't be able to look her co-workers in the face.

The roads around the cafe were densely packed with drivers making their way to work, a slight fog obscuring her sight as she navigated through the streets. The front of the cafe came into view, nestled between a florists and a second-hand bookstore. Krista managed to manoeuvre into a space only a few shops down from the cafe, inspecting the front from her car. Large glass panes comprised the front of the cafe, although they were currently covered by cream blinds, and a panel at the top was painted a deep, forest green. There was, strangely enough, no name presented on the face of the cafe- although Krista had been led to believe that it was called 'The Green'- but, instead, there was simply an emblem painted on the background. It looked like wings, overlapping in the middle, with a dainty teacup illustration over the top.

Krista checked the time, only 8.40, and inspected herself in the mirror for the hundredth time, before slowly taking items in and out of her bag, making sure that she had everything that she would need. She added a pen, just in case, and leafed through her purse in case she had forgotten anything. She hadn't. Her phone pinged in her lap, a quick message from Armin popping up on the screen, sending her luck and an unnecessary amount of smiley faces.

The blinds on the cafe windows rolled up, revealing a small and slender man, scowling out of the window at the foggy morning. His skin was pale, and Krista thought that she could see deep bags under his eyes that rivalled her own. A green apron, bearing the same emblem as the front of the cafe, was tied around his waist with a neat bow over a loose fitting jumper and black skinny jeans. Krista felt immediately overdressed. Would he think she was making too much effort, was trying to compensate for something? Would she make the wrong impression straight away just because of her outfit? Krista fussed with the collar on her shirt, feeling far too tight all of a sudden. She took in a deep breath, picking up her bag, and locking the car behind her as she walked towards the cafe.

The man in the window, now polishing the glass vigorously with a cloth, stared at her as she walked, his face expressionless. She smiled brightly, clutching her bag close to her side, and waited for him to open the front door. He ushered her in, shoving the cloth into a pocket on the front of his apron, and offering his hand to shake. Krista took it, hoping that her hands weren't unpleasantly sweaty and that he didn't notice the slight tremor that affected them.

"Krista, right?" He asked, still standing by the windows and looking her up and down.

Her stomach clenched as his eyes took her in, his expression not giving anything away. She forced another smile onto her face and answered as brightly as she could.

"Yes, that's right. And you're Levi?" She cringed at the high-pitched tone of her voice, but Levi didn't seem perturbed.

"That's me." He motioned towards one of the sofas, and told her to take a seat while he made a coffee. She lowered herself into the comfy leather sofa, strewn with mismatched cushions of varying colours. In fact, she noticed as her gaze swept the coffee shop, everything seemed to be mismatched, clashing colours and patterns everywhere from the rugs that covered the floorboards to the teapots that filled the shelves. The leather sofas and muted creams and greens that were used on the walls and wooden coffee tables suggested that a colour scheme had been attempted, once upon a time, but colour had managed to creep up on the place, filling it with an eccentric energy. It gave it a cosy, almost homely quality, Krista found, even though it was as different from her own home as possible. She was sitting stiffly, her bag on her lap, when Levi returned with two coffees, that he placed on the table.

"You like coffee, right?" He asked, sinking into the sofa across from Krista. She nodded, picking up one of the mugs and cradling it between her hands. That seemed to be enough of an answer for Levi, as he shrugged and leant forwards, his elbows resting on his knees.

"Thanks for coming early. I appreciate good time keeping." He began. "Have you any waitressing experience?"

Krista placed the mug back on the table, and released her bag onto the floor. "Yes, in high school, in a cafe, but that was a while ago and-"

Levi interrupted her with a slight hum. "That'll be fine. You're at Sina University I understand?"

Krista’s heart stopped. She was glad that she had put the coffee down, as she would probably have spilt it as her hands shook. She slipped them underneath her thighs, hoping that it wasn't obvious.

_Pathetic._

"Ermm." Krista cringed, berating herself for such a terrible performance. She cleared her throat, as Levi arched an eyebrow."Actually, I... I've dropped out for... just for a while." She spoke softly, hoping that he wouldn’t prod for any more details.

"So you'll be available during the week?"

"Yes. Yes, all week."

Levi nodded, a small smile gracing his face as he appraised her over the top of his coffee mug. "Great. Well, it's just the three of us for you to meet; myself, Hange, and Ymir. Hange and I live upstairs, and they mainly focus on the coffee side of things, sourcing beans and all that. They will show you how to use the machines. Oh, and Hange uses they/them pronouns at all times, please."

Levi's face grew, somehow, all the more serious as he said this, his eyes piercing into hers unwaveringly.

"Oh. Yes, of course." Krista managed, her breath catching as Levi remained silent, sipping at his coffee. The silence stretched, until Levi leant back, tucking his legs beneath him on the sofa.

"Thanks. Now, I am in charge of the teas, you'll have to learn about them all and how to brew them properly, but that shouldn't take too long to get the hang of. Then there's just Ymir, who you've met?"

"Ah, no actually. My brother babysits for her sometimes. He mentioned that I was looking for a job and she must have..." Krista trailed off, not sure how to proceed, cursing her awkwardness as Levi gazed on expectantly. Eventually he shrugged.

"Well, she should be here soon, I'm sure you'll get on fine." Levi stood up, taking the mugs to the counter and passing her an apron. She tied it over her outfit, and listened intently as Levi began to explain how the cash register worked and showed her the various vegan treats that they served.

Half-way through describing the vegan brownies that he made every morning, he rolled his eyes, as a loud thud emanated from behind the back door. Someone burst through the door, tugging an apron over their head as they shuffled behind Levi. They grabbed Krista's hand, shaking it vigorously as they peered at her through thick glasses, and introduced themselves.

Hange. Of course.

Their hair was scruffy and part of it was tied up in a half-hearted attempt at a ponytail. Yet, their smile was warm and inviting and Levi gave up talking as they began to tell Krista about the coffees that they served and started grinding a few different types of beans for her to try. Hange was overwhelming, and Krista backed away when they casually flung their arms over her shoulders, or leaned in slightly too close as they talked.

Levi opened the front door, allowing in a few eager, yawning customers and began to brew the teas and coffees for them. He interrupted Hange's lecture to ask about Ymir. Apparently she was supposed to have started her shift already, but was nowhere to be found. Levi simply frowned as he worked, not mentioning it again, as Hange showed Krista how to use the barista machines, frothing up soya milk and adding delicious smelling spices to the coffees.

Half an hour later, Krista was attempting to make a soya latte for Hange as a woman entered the coffee shop, trudging towards the counter with a backpack over her shoulder. She was wearing ripped jeans and a hoodie, her hair pulled back into a low ponytail, but the first thing that Krista noticed was the huge, purple bruise that covered her cheekbone, blending slightly into a black eye. No-one spoke for a few moments, simply staring at the young woman, until Levi broke the silence.

"You look like shit." He told her, his voice as flat as his expression. She shrugged, adjusting her backpack on her shoulder, and made her way into the back, only sparing a glance at Krista as she passed. Krista tested out a smile, but doubted that the other girl saw. Levi followed her into the back, leaving Hange and Krista to deal with the last few customers in the queue. Krista became flustered, panicking when a customer blurted out a long list of drinks that she had never heard of before, but Hange simply jotted the list down, showing her how to make each one with minimal fuss. Soon enough, the queue had died out and Krista gathered up the courage to ask about the young woman.

"Hange, was that Ymir?" Krista asked, hoping that they would know who she was referring to.

"Who, Rocky?" Hange began to cackle, ignoring Krista's bemused expression as she forced out a nervous, dreadfully fake laugh. Hange eventually recovered some semblance of composure and nodded.

"Yeah, that's Ymir. Though she's not usually so..." Hange waved a hand around her face, and Krista guessed that she meant the bruises. Krista felt a small amount of relief, glad that this apparently wasn't a regular occurrence. From the little that she had heard from Armin, Ymir hadn't sounded violent or threatening but, then again, she hadn't always been listening during her brother's rambling conversations. Hange nudged her with a sharp elbow, causing Krista to start, and they passed her yet another cup of perfectly brewed coffee.

"Don't worry, Ymir's a big softie. She's probably just had a rough night, so don't take anything she says personally, okay?" Hange smiled, and Krista noted that, despite their apparent scattiness and eccentric air, they were surprisingly perceptive.

Krista simply nodded in response, taking a sip of the coffee and complimenting Hange on the taste, prompting them to tell her all about the bean's origin. Krista made sure to ask as many questions as she could think of, getting the sense that all Hange really wanted was to share their passion, to be listened to by an appreciative audience. It seemed to do the trick. Hange was halfway through telling her about bean roasting methods when Ymir and Levi returned from the back, matching scowls painted on their features. Hange slung an arm across Ymir's shoulders, immediately questioning her about the bruises, but Ymir shrugged the arm off, and began to wipe down the already spotless counter.

"Ymir, this is Krista, she's having a trial day today." Levi muttered, taking the cloth out of her hands and earning a glare in response. Ymir finally turned to face her and Krista forced a smile on her face, feeling it falter as Ymir stared at her.

"Hey." She continued staring, and Krista shifted, her fingers tugging at the collar of her shirt. "You look just like your brother."

"Oh, yeah, we get that a lot!" Krista kept the smile, thinking of one of the many situations in which people had mistaken her for Armin, or vice versa, and was about to share the story when Ymir turned away, talking to Levi in hushed tones.

Hange steered her into the back, showing her around the kitchen and a small locker room where she could stow her bag. Krista listened as intently as she could, yet part of her mind was worried about the impression she just made. Ymir spent a lot of time with Armin, and the two seemed to get along well, but she hardly even spared her a moment’s time? Krista couldn't help but feel that she was comparing her to her brother, and that she was falling short, a faulty prototype. She sighed when Hange finished the tour, remembering that they had told her not to take anything Ymir said personally. Surely she was just having a bad day?

Ymir was sat sullenly on one of the stool arranged around the counter when Krista and Hange re-emerged from the back, and Hange approached her, wrapping her in a tight hug from behind. Ymir tried to shrug them off, but they only tightened their grip.

"What's up grumpy gills?" They groaned, finally letting go and ruffling Ymir's hair. Ymir rolled her eyes, readjusting her hair and picking at the frayed edges of her jeans.

"Leave it, Hange" Levi warned, nudging them in the direction of the coffee machine as a few customers drifted into the cafe. He continued telling Krista about the different teas that the cafe served, whilst Ymir remained sitting at the counter, occasionally burying her face in her hands. She even laid her head on the counter at one point, her arms folded over the top as though she was trying to nap, until Levi through a spoon at her, not stopping in his explanations as he did so. Levi made Krista a pot of his favourite tea, a black China tea infused with real rose petals, and they both sipped at it quietly as Hange moaned that Levi's favourite tea changed every day.

"Can't a man change his mind?" Levi retorted as Hange snickered, and Krista felt a growing, uncertain sense of comfort in their company. They seemed easy-going enough and she was feeling confident that she could get along with them without trouble but Ymir was another matter... Ymir chose this moment to lift her head out of her hands, speaking as though already mid-conversation.

"To top it all off, someone parked in my spot this morning." She grumbled and waited a moment, seeming disappointed in the lack of reaction. "In a goddamn Porsche. A real life Porsche."

Krista's heart sank as she took in Ymir's disgruntled face. Had Levi seen her in the car this morning? The way that he was looking at her, almost sympathetically, suggested that he had.

"It's not _your_ space. It's _a_ space." He told Ymir, one eyebrow raised and his expression unimpressed.

"Yeh, a really convenient space." She retorted "I had to park ages away, and walk in the cold."

Krista knew that she would be found out eventually, and thought that it would be better to apologise straight away, rather than let Ymir continue complaining.

"Sorry, that was me." Krista shuffled nervously, plastering a sweet smile on her face as she spoke. "I didn't know it was your space."

Ymir merely gaped at her for a moment, her eyes narrowing as she looked Krista up and down. "You drive a Porsche?" She asked, her brows furrowing together as she hopped from the stool. "I thought students were meant to be broke?" Ymir smirked, slipping her hands into her jeans pockets as she stared down at Krista.

Krista was speechless for a moment, automatically backing away from Ymir and wrapping her arms around herself. Surely Ymir knew that Armin and Krista came from a wealthy family? Maybe Armin had been less obvious about the fact. Krista wasn't quite sure why the fact that she drove a Porsche would cause Ymir to be angry, and felt sorely out of her depth as she glared at her.

"Actually I'm not at university anymore, I..." Levi interrupted her, tugging Ymir out of the way and pushing her roughly towards the door to the kitchen.

"If you were actually on time for work, you would have got your space. Now go clean up or something." He shoved her through the door, ignoring her protests and swiftly asking Krista if she would like to have some of the vegan treats he made for her lunch. She accepted; glad to be out of the situation with Ymir. The tentative sense of comfort had disappeared and she could only listen half-heartedly as Levi listed the ingredients of his brownies and muffins. She didn't think that she could deal with confrontation from Ymir every day, especially when she was already in an unfamiliar situation. It was becoming hard for Krista not to take the remarks personally, when they all seemed to be provoked by something that she had done.

She blinked back tears, surprised by their appearance, berating herself for thinking that she could handle this. _She was pathetic_. Krista turned away from Levi, wiping away a few stray tears before quietly asking if she could use the bathroom. She quickly grabbed her bag from the back, swiftly ducking past Ymir who was thankfully wearing headphones as she cleaned, and headed for the customer toilets. They were clean and nondescript and Krista made quick work of dabbing at her eyes with tissues in front of the mirror. She could hardly bear to look at her reflection, not wanting to see red-rimmed eyes and a slightly trembling lip.

_Ridiculous._

Levi had probably seen her tears and dismissed her as a childish cry-baby, and Ymir seemed to hate her for no discernible reason. She held a tissue soaked with cold water over her eyes to reduce the redness and replaced her concealer and powder until she could glance at herself without cringing. Better.

She took a deep breath, adding a swipe of blusher before packing her cosmetics back into her bag. She practiced her smiles once more before heading back out into the cafe, glad that they had hit lunchtime and she was halfway through the day. The downside to this was that a swell of customers began to flow into the cafe, grabbing coffees and snacks on their lunch hour. Krista served a few herself, trying not to feel Levi's eyes on her as she smiled and chatted with the customers. It was, for some reason, a lot easier talking to the customers; knowing that they only needed her to do her job and nothing else. She felt a small jolt of pride every time a customer dropped some change into the tip jar, a sense of satisfaction that she hadn't felt in quite some time.

Ymir returned to the floor of the cafe around two ‘o’clock, just as the lunchtime rush was dying off, and Krista felt herself tense involuntarily. Yet, she simply began to wipe down tables and clear away teacups and plates that customers had left, not saying a word as she did so. The atmosphere wasn't uneasy though, with Hange and Levi having a conversation between themselves about a film that they had watched the previous night, until another customer entered the cafe.A young man, dressed as shabbily as Ymir, passed through the door, a guide dog standing by his side. The conversation stopped immediately and Ymir shot an agitated look towards Levi as the man took a seat. She hurried behind the counter, apparently forgetting her recent argument with Krista as she stood close to her, manning the till. Levi looked on with a deep frown as Hange made their way towards the young man, their movements slow and muted. They joined the man at the table and Krista saw the change in their demeanour instantly, noting the serious, almost sad expression on their face, and the lack of wild hand gestures so prevalent before. The pair spoke quietly, Hange reaching to take the man’s hand on top of the table and becoming even more subdued when it was wrenched out of their grasp.

Levi had disappeared into the back and it was only Ymir and Krista behind the counter, serving the odd few customers that approached them. Krista couldn't help but admire the quiet efficiency that Ymir had when making the drinks, and tried her best not to get in her way. When a lull in customers came and Ymir was merely staring out of the window, sending a few glances towards Hange, Krista mustered up the courage to ask.

"Who's that man talking to Hange?" She asked quietly, hoping that this wouldn't anger Ymir towards her any more than she had already. Ymir glanced down at her, seeming to consider the question carefully, before leaning against the counter.

"Moblit's his name. I don't really know his deal though." She leant her cheek against her fist, her elbow on the counter, apparently forgetting about the huge bruise that spread across her cheekbone, and winced.

"Are you okay? Do you need an ice pack or... something?"

"What I need is £100,000 and a good nap; can you do that for me?" Krista blinked at the blatant sarcasm, unsure how to respond without unwittingly offending her again.

"Erm, I... I" She stuttered, stopping abruptly as Ymir sent her a dramatic eye roll.

"Jesus, it was a joke." Ymir returned to staring out of the window, absentmindedly picking at the frayed edges of her jeans again, making the rip on her thigh grow larger. Krista almost gave up on initiating conversation, but didn't want to leave the cafe without having made progress with Ymir. She wasn't sure that she would be able to return if she thought that someone here disliked her, no matter how pathetic that seemed to her when she thought it over. She grasped at the only pre-existing connection that she had with Ymir, hoping to start a conversation.

"So, Armin looks after your little brother, right?" She tried, her voice sounding too bright and forced.

Ymir glared down at her, sighing and running a hand through her hair. Levi returned from the back, and Ymir and Krista both watched him as he headed towards Moblit and Hange, placing an envelope on the table without saying a word and stalking away again. He passed Krista, and asked her to join him in his office, a small room next to the kitchen that Hange had neglected to show her. She guessed that Levi was rather territorial about his office, as it was spotlessly clean and lacked the bright, eccentric decoration of the cafe floor. He offered her the position and Krista accepted, a small part of her still reluctant to do so. Levi smiled at her, a small, reassuring gesture and shook her hand once more.

"I look forward to working with you, Krista" He said softly, ushering her out of his office and giving her a few shifts over the week. As she left the cafe, Krista couldn't help but glance back at Hange, noticing the glint of tears behind their glasses, and wondering what could possibly provoke the most energetic and positive person she had ever met to tears. She hoped that Hange would be back to normal for her next shift, and spared a last look at Ymir as the door shut behind her. She was also staring at Hange, a look of intense worry painted on her features, and Krista caught her eye before swiftly averting her gaze and leaving the cafe behind her, exhaustion creeping up on her and willing her to drive home and crawl straight back under the safety of her bed covers.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! Sorry again for the wait, its been a busy few months!!   
> I was at London Comic-con, which was amazing, and I'm away again this weekend so wanted to make sure this was up before I went away!  
> I have changed a few of the relationship tags as, although I will be including other ships and may even have chapters centered on them later on, Ymir and Krista are definitley the main focus. I will tag other minor ships as they become relevant :)  
> As always, kudos and comments are greatly appreciated and I hope that you enjoy the chapter!

Ymir shuffled into the kitchen slowly, her hands shoved deep into her hoodie's pockets to shield them from the biting cold.

Winter was approaching far too quickly, Ymir mused as she flicked the kettle on, dreading the moment when they would have to turn on the heating. The heating prices were ridiculous, yet when Eren inevitably contracted a cold and the water started freezing in the pipes, like last year, she would have no choice but to give in and fiddle with the cursed thermostat.

The kettle boiled and Ymir poured herself a mug of crappy instant coffee, which always tasted worse after experiencing Hange's carefully sourced, delicious concoctions. Still, it did the trick. Ymir knocked the drink back, quickly pouring herself another and loading it with sugar. If the caffeine didn't wake her up, the sugar rush surely would. She savoured this one, allowing the coffee to warm her as she leant against the kitchen counter.

Her moment of peace was ruined somewhat as her elbow slid into something ominously sticky on the counter that she didn't bother inspecting. She probably didn't want to know what it was. Ymir grabbed a cloth and wiped the offending mystery substance away, leaving one clean and shiny spot amongst the teetering mess that covered the surface. Her heart sank at the state of the kitchen- the whole apartment even- but she knew that there was little that she could do. Even if she did clean it, the mess would return within a day, no-one really having the time or energy to keep it up. Armin, of course, occasionally tidied the place up while he looked after Eren, but it never sat well with Ymir. Her embarrassment must have been obvious, because his little cleaning sprees weren't frequent, only occurring when the apartment was truly disgusting, and Ymir was too busy to notice. Her mum also tried, in her own way, to keep the apartment looking presentable. Every now and again she would buy an expensive pillow to cover an obvious rip in the sofa, or a nice rug to hide the multitude of stains that had been collected on the worn carpets. These purchases would make Ymir quietly seethe, their extravagance outweighing the brightening effect they had on the apartment, but she kept silent, not wanting to shatter the relative peace of the family with arguments.

Ymir sighed, draining her coffee and shoving the empty mug in the sink, along with the last few days dishes and pots. She would clean them later, she reasoned, although she wasn't quite sure when the elusive 'later' would be. Slightly warmer after her coffee, she opened the door to the bedroom that she shared with her mum. It made sense, seeing as her mum worked night shifts, for the pair to alternate using the bed, and for Eren to have his own small room to himself. Of course, this didn't always work, and Eren usually ended up crawling into her bed in the early hours of the morning. He somehow always managed to take up all the room by sprawling his limbs across the bed, and forcing Ymir to make a tactical retreat to his room.

Last night had been the same, and Ymir had had to sleep in his cramped single bed, her feet hanging off the end, at the mercy of the cold apartment. Eren was now sleeping soundly, drooling onto the pillow which Ymir decided she had to at least turn over tonight before going to sleep. She shook him gently awake, and helped him blearily get ready for school, layering several of her old vest tops under his jumper to keep him warm. He shovelled down a bowl of cornflakes, slightly soft from forgetting to close the cereal box properly, and Ymir hopped quickly into the shower, not wanting to leave him to his own devices for too long.

She pulled on her jeans and a comfortable, baggy t-shirt, and bundled Eren into the car, turning the heat right up. She watched Eren run through the school gates, far too energetic for so early in the morning, and made her way to work, hoping to be early enough to get her space near the cafe. Ymir knew that she had acted childishly over the parking space, but she had had a truly shitty few days, and that had simply been the cherry on top. After the incident at the bar, Ymir and Hitch had piled into her apartment and drunk nearly the entirety of Hitch's rather ample liquor cabinet, and hangovers never made her the most amiable person in the first place. Then Krista...

Ymir sighed as she drove, a nonsensical wave of irritation coursing through her. She would never admit it to their faces, but she enjoyed working at the cafe, enjoyed the company of Hange and Levi, and the comfortable dynamic that the three had struck up. And Krista, with her cute clothes and docile smiles, had nudged herself in and Ymir feared that her presence might break the fragile atmosphere that existed between the three co-workers. She felt ridiculous, having acted so rudely to the girl just because she was having a bad day, especially when she had asked Levi about the position in the first place. Armin would be collecting Eren from school tonight, and Ymir didn't want to face him if Krista had complained about her unwelcoming behaviour. She determined to try and get along with Krista, if only for Armin's sake.

Ymir pulled into her space in front of the cafe- mercifully free of a Porsche- and grabbed her backpack from the passenger seat. A goddamn _Porsche_! The scrapes and dents on her car seemed starker somehow as she slammed the door shut behind her and trudged towards the cafe.

Ymir slipped in the back door of the cafe, and shoved her bag and coat in the small locker room, before making her way to the front. Levi was still setting up, making sure that all the teas were fully stocked for the day ahead, and he greeted her with a simple nod. Ymir nodded back, appreciating the quiet, and busied herself turning on the coffee machines. The atmosphere wasn't tense but Ymir couldn't help but recall the interrogation that she had received from Levi the day before. She'd turned up to work with bruises before, but never quite as obvious as the ones that now graced her face, and Levi had not taken it well. He had pretended that he was simply concerned about the impression that she gave customers, but the intense questioning that he had subjected her to about what had happened had given him away. He was worried. She had shrugged it off as a simple bar fight, but that excuse was beginning to lose its effectiveness. In the end, Levi had just told her to not let it happen again, and she had promised, even though they both knew that it was complete bullshit.

The pair remained silent, peacefully preparing for the usual rush of customers at the beginning of the day, and Ymir forced herself not to comment on Hange's absence. They had drifted upstairs after Moblit had left the day before, solemn and quiet, and Levi had followed, leaving Ymir to finish up alone. Ymir was curious by now about Moblit, but both Levi and Hange remained silent on the topic and she knew better than to pry. He appeared at the cafe fairly regularly, guide dog in tow, and sat in bitter silence with Hange, always leaving with an envelope crushed between his fingers and Hange in tears. Ymir had worked at the cafe for years, and considered Levi and Hange to be among her closest friends, yet she sometimes marvelled at how little she knew about the pair.

The door from the kitchen opened, and Krista shuffled into the cafe with a bright "Good morning!". Levi returned the greeting, and asked her to continue stocking up the teas whilst he sorted something out in his office. Ymir held back a scoff, guessing by his dark circles that he was planning on catching up on his sleep, rather than sorting out his finances. Her amusement faded as Levi dissappeared, leaving Ymir and Krista in stiff silence, each busying themselves with tea leaves and coffee grinds.

Ymir decided that she would have to make amends for her shitty behaviour the day before. She'd asked for the job for the girl in the first place, she couldn't complain about it now. Even if Krista had turned up casually draped in what looked like very expensive clothing, a shiny silver watch on her wrist, and her shoes decidedly free from the holes that littered Ymir's own. Ymir berated herself for resenting the other girls obvious wealth. She was Armin's sister, for Gods sake, and Ymir owed the kid enough without being a dick to his sister. Ymir hastily racked her mind for something to say to Krista, and decided that something work-related would be best.

"Hey, Krista." The other girl jumped slightly, the bag of tea-leaves in her hand nearly spilling onto the floor, before turning to face her. "Would you mind sorting out the books? And maybe dust the shelves?"

Krista had plastered a quick smile onto her face, any trace of nervousness smoothed over, and Ymir couldn't help but doubt its sincerity.

"Sure Ymir!" Krista tidied away the bags of tea-leaves and asked for instructions before hurrying to organise the book-shelves with a sickly sweet smile.

Ymir sighed as she watched the other girl taking the books down, carefully avoiding the teapots for fear of breaking them, and tried to pinpoint the source of her immediate and seemingly unwarranted dislike for her. It would be easy for her to pin it on Krista's wealth, which she seemed to flaunt unconsciously with her clothes and car, but then wouldn't she also resent Armin? They were from the same family after all and it would be unfair for Ymir to dislike Krista for something Armin shared, even if he was less obvious about it. She couldn't blame Krista for interrupting the comfortable dynamic she had with Levi and Hange, either, as she had asked for the job herself, and would honestly appreciate another pair of hands helping around the cafe.

It only dawned on her as she shuffled towards the front door to let the first wave of customers in and Krista turned to flash her another bright smile as she dusted the shelves.

That smile was fake as hell.

Ymir would have bet her shitty car that Krista was simply trying to appease her, putting a smile on to keep the peace. Well, Ymir supposed that she wanted peace as well, but she wasn't a fan of people who hid their true feelings, didn't understand why people felt the need to put up a front. She'd rather Krista called her out for her shitty behaviour the day before, rather than trying to gloss over it with smiles and small talk. Still, if it was the cost of peace...

Ymir continued to glance over at Krista while she served the first customers, mostly wanting one of Hange's strongest coffees to kickstart their day, and noticed the way that she flicked through the books as she cleaned. Had Armin said something about her having studied English literature? Once the first rush of caffeine deprived customers dissappeared, and Krista returned behind the counter, Ymir tried to start a conversation.

"So, you like reading?" Ymir cringed at the question, out of the blue as it was.

Krista grimaced slightly before smoothing her features back into a placid smile. Ymir felt even more certain about the falseness of Krista's smiles, now that she had seen it in action.

"Yeh, I mean, I've read quite a lot for school. How about you?" Krista asked, keeping her hands occupied by shuffling around the mismatched coffee mugs underneath the counter. These mostly belonged to Hange, unlike Levi's delicate tea sets, and were not kept under the same vigilant protection.

Ymir hummed in affirmation, and Krista began to talk about her favourite books, with Ymir occasionally butting in to give her opinion or ask questions. This was fine, Ymir thought. She could deal with this. If Krista had to fake her smiles every now and again then was it really any of her business? She was beginning to feel sure that she could handle working with the other girl, when she asked whether Ymir had read _Catch 22_ , one of Krista's apparent favourites.

"Oh no, I haven't actually. I haven't been able to get a copy." Ymir answered. She had made her way through most of the audio book section of the library, and hadn't seen that novel there before.

"Oh, it's hilarious!" Krista enthused, tucking errant strands of hair behind her ears. "I have a copy at home if you'd like to borrow it?"

She smiled eagerly, and Ymir had trouble coming up with a quick excuse to hide her embarrassment. She highly doubted that Krista had a copy of the audio book, even less one that would play on a walkman, and didn't like discussing her dyslexia with anyone. It wasn't that she was ashamed, but that she'd spent enough of childhood being told that she was just too stupid, or too lazy, to read, and it wasn't something that she felt comfortable sharing. Luckily, Levi chose that moment to return to the front- looking visibly refreshed, Ymir noted- and the conversation drifted onwards, the topic of books left aside for the remainder of the day.

****

Ymir pulled into the bar car park with time to spare, mentally patting herself on her back for her successful day so far. She'd managed to have a half-way decent conversation with Krista, and was now early for work. She allowed herself a smug smile as she congratulated herself for acting like a functional human being, and locked the car behind her as she strode towards the back door of the bar.

Unfortunately, Jean seemed to be waiting for her, pacing in front of the door with a cigarette clamped between his fingers, and a stupid beanie, complete with a red pom-pom, shoved on his head. He jogged towards her, and Ymir was torn between being afraid by his anxious expression or laughing at his ridiculous hat. The fear won out in the end, as Jean clutched at her arm and threw his cigarette on the floor.

"Man...Ymir, you're fucked!" He gripped her arm tightly and Ymir felt her heart drop as her mind raced at the possibilities. "I was cleaning and... Annie, she spoke to me... and you are screwed! So screwed!"

Jean shifted frantically, practically jumping on the spot as Ymir tried to get a straight answer from him.

"What did she say, Jean?" Ymir spoke calmly, trying not to give away the fear that had begun to spread through her body, and made her stomach clench tightly.

"She wants to see you. In her office. Like, right now. She asked me to tell you. And she was making a face like this-" Jean furrowed his brow and grimaced, the intense expression at odds with the garish beanie, and Ymir sighed.

"Please stop, you just look constipated." Ymir breathed deeply, trying to calm her frenzied pulse as she tried to think of any reason that Annie would want to speak to her. Ymir had only ever been to Annie's office once in the five years that she had worked at the bar, and it had not been under pleasant circumstances. What had she done to-

"Oh, shit." Ymir's heart sank, and she gripped Jean's arm. "The fight... do you think this is about that fight the other night?" Jean nodded violently.

"Yeah, she saw it all. She was watching. What do you think- Oh man, I'm not cleaning up your body. I'm not dealing with this shit, I'm too-"

Ymir cut him off with a swift punch to his arm. "Shut up Jean, she's not going to fucking kill me. It'll be fine, I'll just- I'll just go talk to her."

Ymir began to move towards the back door, distinctly less optimistic than earlier, checking her watch to see that, yep, she was now late. As if she needed to piss Annie off even more. Jean tagged behind Ymir, muttering ridiculous theories about what might happen to her, and she tried to ignore him. As stupid as Jean's theories were, Ymir couldn't help but share in his fear of Annie. Whilst she may not participate in as many staple-related murders as Jean seemed to believe, Annie was not a figure that anyone wanted to get on the wrong side of, including Ymir. She may turn a blind eye to the majority of the goings-on on the bar, but Marco's deliveries and the occasional visits by the few dedicated Trost Police Officers could not be ignored easily. And whilst Ymir didn't lap up the many rumours about Annie, unlike Jean who seemed to live off the gossip, she could bet that half of them, at least, had some basis in fact.

Ymir wavered outside of Annie's office, making sure that Jean was back behind the bar, before knocking and waiting. She shifted on the spot for a moment, tempted to simply run to her car and never come back, until a soft voice called her in. Ymir pushed open the door. Even though she had been in the office once before, Ymir was almost surprised at how innocuous it looked. She wasn't expecting corpses piled in a corner, or shady men in suits, or piles of drugs on the desk, but it still all seemed too... ordinary.

The room, like the bar itself, was decorated mainly in smart greys, with the odd splash of deep purple in the upholstery of the plush armchair across the desk from Annie. Ymir closed the door behind her, irrationally scared at the prospect of barring off her only exit, and stood in front of the desk. Annie was on the phone, ignoring Ymir as she listened, her face set in her usual grim expression. Her hair was in a loose bun, as always, and she wore a sleek blue shirt, the picture of a successful businesswoman.

Ymir was on edge.

She tried not to focus on Annie, but then didn't want her to think that she was snooping by looking around the office. She really couldn't afford to be on Annie's bad side. Annie finished the conversation quickly, giving a firm order to the person on the other line to do something that Ymir tried her best to forget immediately. Ymir cleared her throat slightly as Annie raised her eyes from the phone, inspecting her face carefully before speaking. Ymir almost wanted to cover the ugly bruise spread across her face, not liking evidence of the fight being so obvious in front of Annie.

"Please, Ymir, have a seat." Annie smiled slightly, her cool eyes still staring unwaveringly at her. Sometimes Ymir felt that Annie could see right through her, as though her gaze could bore right into her mind. Ymir pushed away the disquieting thought, blaming Jean and his ridiculous stories, and took a seat. Annie tidied a few piles of paper on her desk, and checked her phone once more before addressing Ymir again.

"So." She tucked some of her fringe behind an ear, peering up at Ymir. "How's the family?"

Ymir froze, unbalanced by the seeming innocence of the question. Surely this couldn't be what this was about? A simple chat?

"They- They're fine." Ymir managed to coax out, tacking on a quick "Thank-you".

Annie nodded slowly, and hummed. "I'm glad. I always liked your mother, you know. Nice woman." Annie hummed again, sounding almost disappointed. "It's a shame really."

It took Ymir a moment to catch up, to realise what Annie was referring to. Although the fear never diminished, anger rose up alongside, causing her to clench her fists by her sides.

"She deserved better really." Annie mused, her face still passive and calm. "So did you, I suppose. Looks like both of us had shitty fathers, hmm?"

Ymir would berate herself later, would never know what possessed her to let her anger take over and speak back to Annie. "My dad wasn't shitty." She grit out between her teeth, nails digging into the palms of her hands.

"Oh? If you say so." Annie's voices was as calm and even as ever. "Racking up a rather significant gambling debt, then leaving your family penniless seems pretty unforgivable to me."

Ymir remained silent, glaring at the carpet and not daring to lift her head. She really couldn't afford to anger Annie. She had to bite her lip to hold back from saying that it was _Annie's_ fault in the first place, that it was _her_ she owed the debt to, and that Annie could erase it anytime she wanted to.

"Anyway, enough chit-chat. I'm sure you can guess what I want to talk to you about?"

Ymir decided that her best tactic was an apology. You can't go far wrong with an apology, right?

"Ah, yeah... I'm-...That was" Ymir took a deep breath, still staring at the floor. "I'm sorry about the fight, I..."

"I have a proposition for you." Annie's voice was firm, and Ymir couldn't help but wonder if she was able to refuse this "proposition".

"But first, I'm wondering if you're aware of how much you currently owe me?"

Ymir knew exactly how much. She had spent enough sleepless nights with reams of paper and a calculator to know to the exact penny. Still, she doubted Annie had actually forgotten the figure.

"Around £20,000, is it?" She muttered, finally looking up at Annie.

"Close. It's actually £23,846. That's discounting tonight's wages, of course."

Ymir nodded bitterly. Half of her wages from the bar went straight towards the debt she owed Annie, leaving her wage packet dismally light each week.

"Anyway, my proposition. That fight the other night was ridiculous and it _will not_ happen again in my bar." Ymir nodded weakly. " However, it did serve to show me that you can swing quite a punch when you want to. If you would like, I could arrange for you to help make some more progress with your debt. Some real progress."

Ymir froze, uncertain of what she was suggesting. Surely she didn't mean for Ymir to become involved with the seedier side of the business? She couldn't fathom what use Annie would have for her, knowing that she already has a collection of unremarkable, interchangable people to do her dirty work.

"Of course, I already have plenty of people to do this kind of work." Once again, Annie seemed to read her mind. "But, as I said, I like your family. You've worked hard for me, Ymir. I thought you'd like a chance to speed up your repayments. It would be simple work. Just standing around mostly, maybe a few deliveries."

Annie gave a slight, cool smile, and Ymir was tempted. It sounded easy, boring even. Yet, there was something about the gentle smile that Ymir didn't like, and she knew better than to trust Annie. She had sworn to herself that she would never become involved in this side of the business, even if the monetary gain was incredibly tempting.

"Do I have a choice?" Ymir asked quietly. Annie's smile dissapeared, returning to her usual calm expression. "Of course. I would never force one of my employees to do something that they didn't want to do."

Ymir swallowed, her mouth suddenly incredibly dry. She knew that she could spend years paying off this debt, and that she could lessen that time considerably by taking this offer. But, still..

"Thankyou, but I think I'd rather not." She managed to squeeze out, wanting to dissapear before Annie could convince her otherwise. She couldn't afford to not take this deal. But then again, she couldnt afford to put herself in danger, to put Eren's future at risk. Annie nodded, already shifting part of her attention back towards her phone.

"A friend once told me that you can only make the choice you think you will regret the least. It was good advice. I hope that you don't regret this choice, Ymir."

Annie waved her away, now completely absorbed by her phone, and Ymir scrambled out of the office as quickly as she could manage. She ignored all of Jean's probing questions, and spent most of her shift distracted, torn between relieved and terrified. She was glad to not be involved in any of Annie's underground activities, but still couldn't help but imagine a future in which she was free of the debt, free of the bar, free of the shitty apartment and constant worry. It seemed so far away, but with minimal effort, it could be so much closer, so much more tangible. Ymir tried to push the thought away, but it settled at the back of her mind, following her on the drive home, and plaguing her as she dragged herself back into her cold, dingy apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! You can find me on tumblr as freckled-krista.


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!  
> Sorry for the (ridiculous) wait on this chapter! As well as being extremely lazy and a massive procrastinator I moved to Japan a few months ago! So at least I have an excuse this time? Sort of?  
> This chapter it is eruri-centric for a change!! I only heard the snk news today so I'm still upset but finishing this helped me through the pain!  
> I hope that you are all well and that you enjoy the chapter!!

Levi lingered in the office longer than necessary. Every time that he deemed the work done, something else sprang to mind, something crucial and imperative. The paperwork for his new employee's contract needed drafting, for example, and the tea order was important, and how long had it been since he had checked the accounts? Maybe should go over their invoices for the month. Surely he couldn't leave without doing that much. 

He knew that he was stalling. He closed the lid of his laptop with a sigh, leaning back in his chair and taking a moment. A deep breath later, he felt marginally calmer. He could hear the low murmur of Ymir's voice through the door, chatting to Hanji as she closed the cafe. A small part of him was apprehensive about leaving the pair in charge, especially since Krista had entered the equation, but he could reason his worries away without much trouble. Hanji was capable, really, as much as they liked to mess around and enthuse about coffee, Levi knew he could trust them. Levi was jerked from his sentimental thoughts as Hanji burst into the room, covered in flour and ominously out of breath. He took it all back. He couldn't even leave them in charge for an hour. 

"Hey, Levi!" Hanji shook some of the flour from their hair, leaving a generous coating on the clean floor. "I packed a bag for you, with some cute pyjamas in case you need to stay over night. And I baked get-well cookies!" 

"I can see that. And I won't need to stay over night." Levi couldn't help but pick at the hem of his jumper, the thought of having to stay longer than necessary in the hospital dealing a blow to his nerves.

"Well, just in case. " Hanji inched closer to the desk, their expression surprisingly gentle. Levi didn't protest as they wrapped their arms around him, flour and all, and he leant into their familiar warmth. He loved moments like this. Sometimes Hanji would know exactly what he needed, would be able to quell their constant need for movement and noise and just be there.

"I'm proud of you." They mumbled, their face buried into Levi's hair. "And so, so excited for you!" 

There goes the peace. Hanji squeezed him tightly before stepping back and fixing their glasses. 

"Yeah, me too. " Levi admitted.

"So, so excited!" Hanji beamed at him, barely glancing away as there was a knock at the door. Ymir poked her head around the door, similarly coated in flour, to announce that she was leaving.

"Ah Ymir, just so you know, I'll be off for a few weeks. Hanji's covering for me and Krista will be helping out so it should be fine."

Ymir's face scrunched in confusion, and Levi felt a pang of anxiety at the thought of leaving her in charge. The bruises had been one thing, one large thing that Levi still wasn't comfortable with, but she had also been strangely distracted lately, and her conflict with Krista as well... Levi sighed, wondering quite when he had become such a worrier, especially over loud-mouthed, stroppy employees. Well, she was a hard worker, he reasoned."You on holiday or something?" She asked, scowling as she leant against the doorway. 

"No, I'm going to be in hospital. It's nothing serious, been planned a long time." 

Ymir looked startled, worried even, and Levi decided that he'd rather leave the explaining to Hanji, and left it at that.

"But you're ok, right? Nothing serious? Or like... bad?" Ymir was fiddling with the frayed edges of her jeans, not looking at Levi.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. I'll probably just be upstairs for a while, so you wont even miss me." 

Ymir snorted, her worried expression lifting "As if. Hanji and I will have fun, right?" 

Hanji nodded vigorously at that, their arms tightening around Levi's shoulders, and Levi couldn't conceal a shudder at the thought of the havoc that the pair might cause in his shop.

"Not too much fun, I hope." He muttered, doing his best to force a scowl on his face. Ymir merely scoffed, tugging her backpack higher up on her back and shifting her weight between her feet. Oh god, Levi really hoped she wasn't going to say something sentimental. 

"Well, good luck. I'll try not to miss your ugly mug too much."

Ymir left with a small wave and smile, and Levi felt a small rush of relief at the simplicity of their conversation. He'd feared questions and confusion, and wasn’t sure that he felt up to answering all of the questions that could have been thrown at him. Levi sighed, resisting the urge to simply plant his head on the desk and fall asleep. He had just tidied the desk after all. The pair sat in silence for a while, Hanji resting their head on top of Levi's and occasionally running their hands through his hair. 

"You nervous?" Hanji broke the silence, their voice, for once, just above a whisper. 

"Of course I'm fucking nervous" Levi snapped. He ran over the question over in his mind, allowing his doubts and worries to take over. "I still don't know if I want-" Levi broke off, having difficulty finding the right words. "I don't know if I-" 

He let out an exasperated sigh, rubbing furiously at his eyes as if it would help with the stinging wetness that he refused to acknowledge. He felt Hanji's arms disappear from his shoulders and didn't resist as they removed his hands from his eyes. They were kneeling in front of him, as though talking to a crying child, and Levi held back the part of him that wanted to complain about that. Hanji's face looked anything but condescending. They simply waited, holding his hands between their own.

"It doesn't feel right." Levi eventually settled on, his voice low enough that he couldn't be sure that Hanji heard. "It doesn't feel fair after-"

Hanji dropped his hands, grasping his face and forcing him to look directly at them. 

"You listen to me Levi." Their voice had taken on a scolding tone, and Levi once again felt like a small child. "You deserve every bit of happiness that you can get. Be greedy. Be selfish. I don't care what you think is fair, be the greedy asshole I know you can be." 

Levi couldn't help but choke on a small laugh. Hanji beamed, their hands still framing his face tightly. 

"Seriously, Levi. You deserve this." 

Levi didn't argue the point so Hanji swept him into a hug that bordered on painfully tight. Levi wrapped his arms around his friend, grateful for their words, even if he didn't agree with them. 

"I love you" Hanji mumbled, their face buried in Levi's hair. Levi sighed dramatically, rubbing at his eyes once more. 

"How are you going to tell your girlfriend?"

They let out a sharp cackle, which quickly turned into deep laughter, their body shaking against Levi's. Their laughter was infectious and, soon enough, Levi joined them, wondering what he ever did to deserve a friend like Hanji.

********

The first time that Mike visited him in hospital, Erwin had asked him to leave. Tears he could take, but the pity in his best friends eyes was too much. Mike had protested, of course, and the pity had quickly changed to anger and disbelief. Erwin preferred anger, he knew how to deal with it. 

Mike had eventually left, under the supervision of the nurse that Erwin had called, and he had been left alone with the ridiculously expensive flowers that Mike had brought and the chocolates that he knew wouldn't be eaten. Erwin had asked the nurse to give the flowers to the lady a few beds over, who hadn't had any visitors even though, from what Erwin could gather, she had lost both of her legs. He hadn't had the heart, or inclination, to ask how. 

He had refused Mike's next two visits, not yet ready to face the dramatics that he was sure would ensue. His phone had been broken irreparably, so he didn't know if anyone else had tried to contact him, but he counted this a blessing, rather than a curse. Some days he wondered if it wouldn't have been easier to have remained in the short coma that he had fallen into, where he could be unaware of the endless parade of people that wanted his attention. Nurses, doctors, counsellors, physical therapists, Mike. 

Being in the hospital was tedious, especially when Erwin didn't possess his usual desire or talent for conversation. His nurse, whose name Erwin still hadn't bothered to catch, had tried to make conversation many times, but Erwin found his usual smooth words didn't come, and he couldn't quite bring himself to care. 

So, his sponge baths were taken in silence, or with the incessant chattering of the nurse becoming white noise, like generic music in an elevator. He had resisted the baths at first, his nakedness leaving him too vulnerable and exposed, especially his right arm which he stubbornly refused to look at or acknowledge. He spent his baths with his eyes firmly closed, giving him the strange, relaxed appearance of a man enjoying a long soak after a hard day. 

The counsellors were the worst. They would visit him, the curtains around his bed shut in a parody of privacy. They would ask questions about how he was coping, offer advice that he wouldn't listen to and send sympathetic or disappointed looks his way when he remained silent. One of the sessions had been vaguely useful. They had asked about his parents, about his father, and, though Erwin remained silent, he had remembered something very important. 'Nothing you do will ever make a difference.' He smiled. The counsellor left shortly after that. 

Physical therapy was easier. Every day he would be put through a series of exercises and stretches, intended to help strengthen his muscles after being in bed for so long. He did these without complaint, until he was requested to take his exercise in the special gym. 

The therapist had carted in a wheelchair, and Erwin had balked. He shook his head and stared down at the sterile, white sheets that covered his lap. He was sure that he heard the nurse sigh heavily but, looking up, they had the same amiable, vacant smile as usual. They had asked him to cooperate, had called him Sir, as though that would help piece back together the scraps of his dignity. After sitting in resolute silence while the nurse had attempted to convince him to cooperate, he had realised that they weren't going to give up.

He had decided that he would have to show them that he could walk by himself, that he didn't need a chair, that he wasn't helpless. He shifted in the bed, swinging his legs over the edge while the nurse hovered, hands flitting around but not yet touching him. Erwin wanted to bat the hands away but found all his energy concentrated on trying to stand up, his legs seeming unnaturally heavy. He had managed to get to his feet, the nurse holding onto his back and left shoulder to help him keep his balance. Apparently, that help hadn't been quite enough. 

Erwin had underestimated how much his missing limb would affect his balance, and had toppled over, landing with a loud, painful thud on the floor. He had cried out involuntarily, the pain from the impact blossoming on his right side, and bringing humiliating tears to his eyes. He swatted away the swarm of nurses that had appeared to help, until his attempt to push himself back up failed, and cold hands lifted him back into his bed. The nurses had agreed to leave him be for the rest of the day, and resume the exercises the next day. 

Erwin used the wheelchair after that.

The fifth time that Mike visited, Erwin let him in. He didn't have flowers this time. He hadn't seemed angry but Erwin could tell that he was upset but didn't want to show it. He probably thought that Erwin couldn't handle it right now, was too delicate, too pathetic. Naturally, Erwin had made it his mission to make Mike angry. He could take it, he didn't want to be treated like a child. 

Erwin had started by giving monosyllabic answers to Mike's questions, making him frustrated but not yet angry. Mike hadn't responded to Erwin rejecting his lunch, the tepid hospital food sitting untouched on his tray. It was not until Erwin had called himself useless, his voice hoarse from disuse, that Mike had finally been provoked to anger. Mike had been discussing Erwin's temporary replacement at the school, Nile Dok, and how much he was looking forward to Erwin's return once he had recovered. Erwin had scoffed, declaring himself useless to the school now that he was a 'cripple'.

Mike had been shocked, at first, by Erwin openly mentioning his injury, that he had previously ignored, and had then been angry about his comment. Erwin had rejoiced in his anger, even as a nurse poked their head round the curtain to check on the source of the shouting. Mike left. 

Mike didn't visit for a week after that. It had been enough time for Erwin to feel guilty, to see his actions as childish. He had been irrational, he knew. Now he felt his loneliness keenly, only exacerbated by the patient in the bed next to him. He had not seen the patient yet, having kept his curtains closed, but since yesterday they had had a constant supply of visitors, usually very loud and excitable. 

The physical therapist came by, loading him into the wheelchair to take him to the gym where he would repeat the same exercises intended to help him become accustomed to his new body. As he was wheeled through the ward, he chanced a peek at the new patient; a slim, dark haired man in the same unflattering hospital gown as Erwin. He was surrounded by four visitors, all with bouquets of flowers similar to the one that Mike had brought him. The group noticed Erwin being wheeled past and smiled weakly, shock apparent on their faces. 

Erwin had avoided mirrors but was now convinced that he looked terrible. He hadn't shaved since he had arrived at the hospital and his lack of appetite had surely made him lose weight. He made eye contact with one of the visitors and his stomach churned in horror. He recognised her from school. Eren Jaeger's sister. He felt dizzy with shame and panic, hastily looking away and ignoring her questioning gaze.

She didn't say anything to him, and he was wheeled away quickly. He did badly at the beginning of the session, distracted by the thought of being seen in this condition. Surely the parents and teachers had been informed of his absence and that he was currently in hospital, but they wouldn't have known the specifics. Shame filled him, only made worse by his poor attempts in the gym. 

The physical therapist, Dr. Lagnar had simply smiled and encouraged him to continue with the exercises. It was only now that Erwin noticed the uncanny resemblance between the doctor and Eren Jaeger's sister. He knew her name, of course, but had always found it difficult, uncomfortable almost, to use his students family member's first names. It felt strange, unprofessional, and Erwin took comfort in the distance that the formality created. 

Ms Jaeger didn't seem to like this formality. She didn't seem to like Erwin either, a fact that didn't cause him any distress, but her criticisms were another matter. He should have noticed. His students were his top priority, and he had failed. It had been the final blow in a long line of poor decisions and financial failures. It had left Erwin shaken. 

He had spent one evening in his office, sleeves rolled up and tie askew, drafting and re-drafting a resignation letter, only to file it away in a drawer. He had attempted to ignore the constant urge to submit it. He had been convinced that his incompetence would be noticed, that it would all be taken from him. Dok would love that, he had mused, the thought sticking in his mind and re-surfacing over and over. It stayed with him.

Sleep had been impossible. Constant doubts plagued him and hypothetical situations and contingency plans left no time to spare for rest. It was probably his lack of sleep and distracted mind that had led him into this mess, he thought, sprawled on the gymnasium floor for what felt like the hundredth time. Distracted people make poor drivers. Erwin shook the thought away hastily, jumping to his feet as smoothly as he could and attempting the exercises with renewed vigour in an attempt to calm his racing heart. 

Dr Lagnar seemed surprised by his newfound enthusiasm for the exercises, and encouraged him in her gentle, measured voice. Erwin found himself envious of her calm exterior, knowing that his once cool and controlled demeanour had been destroyed. He felt inconsistent, in a way that he had never experienced, as though his emotions were constantly in flux and in danger of overflowing. 

The doctor praised his efforts and Erwin felt a retort on his tongue, a complaint about being treated like a child once again, but he refrained. She called him Mr Smith, like the nurse had, but it didn't feel condescending or placatory. It reminded him somewhat of his attempts to keep distance and it felt strangely comforting. She was simply doing her job, and he was simply her client. It helped to feel as though this was less personal, that he didn't have to feel so embarrassed when he failed to perform an action that would have been frustratingly simple with two hands. 

The session ended, with Erwin covered in a thin sheen of sweat, and Dr Lagnar wheeled him back to his bed herself, promising to help him practice walking with crutches as soon as his shoulder had healed enough. The visitors were gone. Erwin felt a rush of relief that he wouldn't have to face Ms Jaeger now, even though he knew he would probably see her again in the hospital. Dr Lagnar helped him into bed and left with a sincere, or very well faked, smile. 

Erwin found himself at a loss. Mike had brought him some books in a previous visit but Erwin hadn't been able to focus long enough to read any of them. He tried again. He read a few pages but found his mind wandering and was unable to recall anything that had happened, or even the main characters name. He closed the book.

There was a slight cough from the bed next to him. Erwin jolted, then scolded himself for being so jumpy. It was ridiculous. It was silent again for a few moments then a voice broke through, low and brusque. 

"Hey."

Erwin tried to return his attention to his book, certain that the voice wasn't speaking to him, when a head poked through his curtains. Erwin jumped again. The face sent him an apologetic glance, and was soon joined by the mans torso, leaning into Erwin's makeshift room. Erwin recognised him as the patient from the next bed over, although he wasn't sure why he had decided to talk to him. Unless Ms Jaeger had said something. Erwin gritted his teeth, anticipating awkward one-sided conversation and pity-offering.

"Hey. Sorry, I would have knocked but-" The man made a vague gesture towards the curtains, his face now schooled into a neutral expression. Erwin wasn't sure what his own face looked like, but it was most certainly not neutral. The man cleared his throat.

"You mind if I come in?"

He hovered, part-way through the curtains, until Erwin gave a stiff nod in response. He was uncomfortable with the situation, unsure what the other man could possibly want and struggling to hold onto the thin threads of composure that were holding him together. The pounding of his heart and the sickening lurch of his stomach troubled him. He had never felt this way before. The opinions of others, although important to him, had never caused him undue stress and his calm, cool demeanour had usually ensured that he was well liked, or at least respected. 

This was different. He found himself crossing his left arm across his body, covering his other, as though shielding it from view. His hand hovered uncertainly, not wanting to make contact with the bandages that covered his shoulder. If the other man noticed the gesture, he didn't make it obvious. He shuffled into the room, brushing the curtain closed behind him and standing beside the bed. His presence far outweighed his physical size and Erwin felt almost suffocated by it, as though the man was taking over the room.

"Smith, right?"

Erwin blinked in surprise. He didn't recognise the man, beyond him being the patient from the next bed over. Yet Ms Jaeger had been visiting him. Erwin had always made sure that he recalled names and faces, and had prided himself on the ability. He would recognise him if he had seen him before.

He simply nodded.

"You don't recognise my voice?" The man asked, a small smile playing on his lips. Erwin tried to place the voice but his confusion must have shown on his face. 

"I'm Levi. I own The Green, the cafe that Ymir works at. You're Smith, the head teacher, right? You ring me when Ymir's brother gets in trouble, which seems to be quite often." 

Erwin vaguely recalled talking to the manager of the cafe a few times. Never much more than small talk, exchanging a few pleasantries before he could talk to Ms Jaeger. He had never been to the cafe itself, had never thought much about the manager beyond their stilted, perfunctory conversations. 

Erwin managed a small "Oh" in response. Part of him cursed his sudden inability to make conversation when it used to come so easily, so naturally. The rest of him simply didn't know how to respond, couldn't find the necessary motivation to continue. What did the man want from him? 

Levi frowned. Erwin waited for the inevitable bemused smile from Levi, waited for the pity to change his expression and make him forgive his rudeness. He was sure that, like Mike, he would deem him too vulnerable, too pitiful to treat harshly. 

"You look like shit." 

Erwin's head snapped up. He had been staring at the crisp white sheets again but now found himself glaring at Levi's face, contorted into a frown. 

"Excuse me?" Erwin's voice sounded cracked and he tried to ignore the grating pain that was left in his throat. 

"I know the hospital food is terrible, but you've got to eat something. Wait here." 

Levi darted through the curtain and Erwin wondered where exactly Levi thought he would disappear off to. He spent his days solely in the bed, except for the physical therapy excursions. 

Levi returned after only a few moments, two tins perched precariously in his arms. One was a muted green, the other a spotted, pastel affair that contrasted strangely with Levi's deadpan expression. 

"We've got Cranberry and Almond muffins and chocolate brownies. Take your pick."

He gently placed the tins on the small table next to Erwin's bed, taking off the lids and setting them aside. When Erwin remained silent, Levi simply picked out a brownie and began eating it, settling into the uncomfortable visitors chair that Mike usually used. 

Erwin felt on edge. The pair sat in silence as Levi slowly nibbled away at the brownie, a small frown never leaving his face. Erwin's arm began to itch. He tried to ignore it, not yet ready to face the loss, or the strange side effects. Levi had finished his snack, neatly folding the wrapper and placing it back in the tin. He lifted a muffin out, placing it on the table with a huge slab of brownie. He collected the tins again and paused as he lifted the curtains aside.

" 'Night, Smith. Eat something."

****

The next morning Erwin was woken by loud voices. Well, one loud voice in particular. The voice sounded female and was lecturing an unknown victim about honesty as they responded in hushed tones. 

Erwin suspected that Levi was the recipient of the anger but couldn't be sure. He tried to roll over in bed, only to graze his arm against the sheets and grimace in pain. It was recovering, slowly but surely, but he kept finding himself forgetting about his injury. Forceful ignorance may have played a part in this, but he didn't like to admit that even to himself.

He sighed heavily, resigning himself to another day of boredom and physical therapy that would only cause him further frustration. Even the seemingly one-sided argument in the room couldn't hold his interest for very long. It reminded him of Mike's anger and he swiftly diverted his attention away from that line of thought, not wanting to think about Mike and the school and his job. If he even had a job left to return to. 

The nurses must have escorted the shouting woman away because the ward was suddenly filled with silence again, except the shuffling of feet and occasional cough. Erwin contemplated picking his book up again, but attempting to make sense of it seemed too taxing and he knew that the words would disappear from his mind as soon as he read them. So he sat.

Erwin couldn't remember any other point in his life where he had simply sat, attempting and expecting nothing. The listlessness weighed him down, and he couldn't even consider physical therapy as a valuable use of his time. After all, even if he could manage to live his life outside of the hospital, what would be waiting for him there? He thought of his apartment- modern and comfortable- and his job- stressful but rewarding- but couldn't seem to fit himself into the picture anymore.

A small deliberate cough broke him from his thoughts, and Levi's head emerged between the curtains once again. His brow was furrowed and Erwin could see his hands fidgeting with the curtain, anxiously running the material through his fingers. He was also wearing loose pastel-pink pyjamas adorned with tiny rabbits. Erwin vaguely noted that he would rather be wearing them than his horrendous hospital gown. Maybe Mike had brought him some comfortable clothes in the bag that he had dropped off from his apartment, but Erwin hadn't yet found the motivation to open the bag. It felt, absurdly, as though it belonged to someone else.

"Sorry about that. I hope we didn't wake you." Levi stepped fully into the room, once again holding a cake tin in his hands, presumably containing food. Erwin, unlike the day before, felt the urge to talk, to relieve the lethargy that was weighing him down. 

"Your girlfriend sounded mad." He supplied, his voice still sounding nothing like his usual smooth, deep tone. Levi's face, somehow, became even more pinched, his mouth twisting as though he had tasted something sour. 

"They're not my girlfriend. Hanji is just my friend."

Erwin cleared his throat, the atmosphere tense. "I see. What was she angry about?"

"They."

Erwin shifted in bed, wondering if conversation had always been this difficult or if he had simply lost his ability to talk effortlessly.

"I- what?"

"They. Hanji is non-binary, they use they/them pronouns. Always." Levi looked stiff, his arms crossed across his body in a defensive position. His voice was quiet, but somehow had more impact than shouting. 

"I see. I apologise for the misunderstanding." The words, to Erwin's surprise, rolled off his tongue with ease for the first time since he had woken in the hospital. The room was still tense but Erwin felt a sense of relief, a sense that he was slightly closer to his old self. 

Levi grimaced slightly, then shrugged, setting the tin on the table. "It's fine. It just gets annoying having to repeat this conversation every time I meet someone. Not your fault." He turned to face Erwin, tugging the tin open and pulling out another brownie. "And stop talking like that. You sound ridiculous." 

Erwin stiffened, the relief disappearing as soon as it had come. Levi thrust the brownie in his direction, his expression unamused. Erwin accepted it numbly and, as Levi arched an eyebrow, began to eat. The brownie crumbled onto the crisp, white hospital sheets and Levi's eyebrow, somehow, appeared to raise even higher. 

Erwin's mouth began to feel incredibly dry half-way through the brownie and Levi appeared at his side with a glass of water. Accepting the glass, Erwin gulped it down before another brownie was unceremoniously shoved into his hand. It didn't last long.

His stomach felt uncomfortable and a wave of nausea passed over him but he felt better than he had in days. Levi was staring at him with an almost smug impression as he brushed the crumbs from the bed into his hands and dumped them in the bin. 

"I didn't imagine you'd be such a messy eater, Smith. Far too dignified." He grumbled, but Erwin could see the slight smirk that tugged at his lips. 

"I'm afraid it's rather difficult to be dignified in a hospital gown." 

Levi's smirk grew and he gestured at his own clothing, fluffy slippers and all. 

"And yet I manage in this monstrosity." 

Erwin felt his own expression begin to mirror Levi's. The pyjamas really were distinctive. 

"Hanji picked them out for me. They dropped them off before they began shouting." Levi rolled his eyes, attempting to appear casual, but his posture had stiffened again. 

"I see." Erwin weighed his options, then decided to just ask. "What were they angry about?" 

Levi sighed quietly, dropping into the guest chair and crossing his arms across his chest. He flinched, as though in pain, then lay his arms in his lap. He ran his hands through his hair.

"I wasn't sure how long I was going to have to be here. Maybe only one night, maybe more. I told Hanji I'd only be here for one night, didn't want them to worry. Turns out I have to stay a bit longer." He sighed again, louder this time. "They weren't happy."

"I see." Erwin's thoughts unconsciously leapt to Mike, a sense of guilt filling him. He hadn't visited in a while. 

"You can stop making that face as well. You look constipated." Levi grimaced, sliding down further in the chair and spreading his legs out on the floor. It appeared that he was settling in for a while. Erwin expected to feel annoyed but only felt a sense of calm. The peace was interrupted by a voice.

"Mr Ackerman?"

Levi shifted in his chair, letting out a quick "In here.", and a head poked through the curtains. Erwin was really beginning to doubt the privacy of the curtains. The man surveyed the room, his face settled in a placid smile. 

"Making friends, I see. Could I have a word Mr Ackerman?" The man nodded genially at Erwin before disappearing. 

Levi leant back in the chair for a moment before standing up with a groan. 

"Back in a minute Smith. Doctors orders." He shuffled back out of the room, the slippers masking the sound of his steps. 

Erwin closed his eyes, suddenly tired. He heard the voices of Levi and the doctor, quiet but clear, and found himself enjoying the background noise, too used to the silence of the ward. He didn’t listen intently, finding his mind wandering to Mike, hoping that he would visit soon, that he hadn't ruined an old and valued friendship. A few words caught his attention even as he tried not to eavesdrop. 

graft... incision... healing...

Erwin tried to tune out the conversation, too used to hearing the same spiel every time the doctor visited him, but found it difficult to ignore. 

drains... testosterone... gender reassignment

Something clicked into place. Erwin nodded slowly, berating himself slightly for not even considering why Levi was in the hospital. It hadn't seemed important. The voices became quieter, the doctor giving lengthy instructions and advice and Erwin finally zoned it out, wondering distantly how long Levi would be staying in the ward. He couldn't be sure but, considering the slow speed of his own recovery, Erwin couldn’t imagine that he would be leaving soon. He wasn't even sure if he wanted to leave, what would he-

Erwin's thoughts were interrupted by Levi's return, striding through the curtains like a pyjama-clad conqueror . He sent an accusatory glare at Erwin as he reclaimed the chair.

"I know you heard that." 

Erwin couldn't deny it, the rooms were too close for that. He nodded. Levi continued glaring, as though waiting for Erwin to speak. Erwin cleared his throat.

"Congratulations." He managed, unsure if that was what Levi was waiting for. 

Apparently it had been sufficient because Levi's shoulders relaxed and he stood from the chair, shuffling towards the bed. He extended a hand in Erwin's direction, rolling his eyes when Erwin looked at him blankly.

"Come on Smith. Let's go see what a man's got to do to get a decent cup of tea around here."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Big thanks also to my friend Daisy (paperarmadillo on tumblr) for helping me plan and listening to me whine about writing and about how much I love these characters. And of course thank you to Tams for keeping me up to date with snk and reading through my writing! You're a gem! Check out their tumblr (titansatemysoul) and their fic if you like Eruri and Eremin!:  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/4669676/chapters/10656635

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Any comments/ constructive criticism would be great.  
> I'm on tumblr as freckled-krista and want to say a big thankyou to my friend paperarmadillo for helping me plan this and giving it a read over :)


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